Effective Classroom Management Gone Bad 8/19/14

Back to school for teachers.  The meetings, the hugs, the surprise announcements of pregnancy and engagements.  The excitement/boredom combination that only that particular week can bring.  I've been to two days now, and something is disturbing me.  It's August 2014, and the town of Ferguson, MO is in such a state of unrest that it's affecting our nation.  The National Guard has helped out, and fifty-seven people were arrested last night.  They were protesting, throwing Molotov cocktails at and even shooting at police.  (The article stated that only four of those arrested lived in Ferguson, proving that people will go a distance to protest and cause harm.)  I am not taking a stand on the Michael Brown case. I feel so sorry for his family, just as I do for anyone that loses a family member.  I am commenting on the vaguely-named "protesters".  If you know me at all, you know that I am seriously anti-violence.  I have trouble with the idea of military and war at all, but this world makes forms of such an evil necessity.  I do know that a family lost somebody they loved and cared about, and rather than use the peaceful tools available, many of these "protesters" are causing more harm, injury and even death to try to.........what?

Yesterday, we played a game with our teacher handbook.  Various questions were asked, teachers had to locate the page number and answer, then run up front and ring a bell and see if their teams answer was correct.  Shorthand:  these are the issues that teachers don't do well on, let's pound them in your head with a game.  I stopped participating when something on page 14 caught my eye.  Under "Principles of Effective Classroom Management" it stated:  "Discipline students in private.  Do not redirect or reprimand in front of the other students."

I am at a loss for words.  I don't know if I can keep teaching.  I can't ask some boys and girls in my classroom "Please stop talking."" "Please don't touch her" "Put your rhythm sticks away, you broke the rules."?  I know there are many other ways, but sometimes a polite direct request works the little miracle we need at the time.  I teach between forty and fifty-five students at a time.  Alone.  Do I have to step out in the hallway with a student that is not allowing me to teach due to misbehavior?  Who watches the others?

Today, we had a presentation on classroom management.  The presenter was all about being positive.  Before I go any further, I have to say that I pride myself on being positive with children, and encouraging them constantly by praising good behavior.  The presenter this morning claimed that she only ever does that, and the worst children that are having a "bad day" are brought around by her praise.  Going into my twenty-fifth year, I can agree with that technique, but only for about 75% of the time.  There are some individuals, small as they may be, that (due to whatever life has dealt them) don't care, don't listen to the praise, abuse the privilege of being treated nicely and even cause a violent happening to a fellow student or myself.

I think there are grown-ups that don't care to obey the law today because the authorities in their young lives let them see by example that they would be rewarded if they chose to do wrong.  Should the authorities in Ferguson need to take one protester at a time to a side street and have a talk with them?  That's what education in America has led them to expect.  I'm glad I only have a few years left, and I hope I didn't scar any of the little darlings that I've corrected in class over the last twenty-five years.

The Hardest Questions of All. Thanks, Santa. 12/12/13

Little ones ask so many questions.  Personal questions - "How old are you?"  Silly questions - "Can I have that bracelet?"  Blunt questions - "Are those real diamonds?"  But the two hardest questions of all occur this time of year:  "Mrs. Rush, is Santa real?"  followed by "Mrs. Rush, do you believe in Santa?"  Elementary teachers have to face the fact the there are as many levels of belief in their classroom as there are students.  We also have to face the fact that those students believe whatever we say.  We are the teachers.  We speak wisdom and truth!  I bill myself as a teacher that only tells the truth.  So, when I was asked these difficult questions today, as I have been so many years in a row, I gave an answer that has been many years in the making:

"Is Santa real?  Jailynn says he's not."  Oh boy, here we go.  Carefully worded truth. These were second graders.  I personally found out the truth from a kid in my class in third grade.  I was angry and disappointed.  Considering this little questioner was about the same age, I spoke very cautiously:

"Now, my little friends, you might be hearing all sorts of things about Santa from your friends here in your class at school. I think that Santa is very much alive in the spirit of giving.  Different families have different ways that they share that with their kids, so please believe whatever your parents tell you.  This season is about love and giving.  Sometimes we give gifts, sometimes we give a song, sometimes we give our time to help someone.  Santa is one of the leaders behind all that giving, but we are all involved in it.  I hope that you have the chance to give a little bit this season and see how it makes you happy.  Even if what you give is your best smile." (The room erupts into smiley faces.)

"But what about what Jailynn said?"  "Well, her family still believes in giving and being sweet.  Her parents just explain it in a different way from your parents.  But that's ok if the real purpose is being nice."

"Why doesn't Santa bring presents to grown-ups?"  "Well, it's not because all grown-ups are bad.  I'm certainly not bad!" (giggle eruption).  "I think it's because when you are very little you only know how to get stuff.  When you get older, you learn how to give yourself, so Santa doesn't have to give you things to teach you that anymore." (Can we please sing now?)

Then, the granddaddy of them all:  "Mrs. Rush, do you believe in Santa?"  Dead silence.  They think they've got me.  "I have to say yes, my friends.  I believe in Santa as he represents the spirit of giving.  I believe in Santa in the idea that if you are good, good things come to you.  I try to practice that all year long on you boys and girls by giving treasure box goodies to the well-behaved children.  I believe that once you really know Santa as a grown-up, you understand that giving is so much more than a present.  Giving can be a smile, saying someone looks nice, visiting someone, calling them, writing them a note, or singing them a song. This is the truth that Santa represents and in my heart I know it's true.  Believe what your mom and dad tell you. That will be different for everyone in here, but don't we celebrate differences at our school?" (Nodding heads) "Santa wants you to grow up to have a giving heart, so he sets the example."  (Quiet.....)  "Now let's sing - please give me some beautiful songs with beautiful voices today!"  Smiles - music - action.  Thanks, Santa.

The T-shirt Rebellion 8/22/13

I wore a uniform to school from fourth grade until I graduated. We hated them.  Doesn't everybody that has to wear a school uniform hate them?  Blue plaid and white blouses.  Dress-style jumpers over the blouses through sixth grade, and skirts with the blouses starting in seventh.  Solid color blue, green or white socks.  Solid color blue, green or white sweaters.  No dangling earrings.  Closed-toed shoes.  Skirts had to touch the floor when kneeling.  The rules seemed never-ending.  The dream of being able to choose what I got to wear each day was a part of the enticement of college.

At college, I was sometimes overwhelmed by the question of  "What am I going to wear today?"  There was no real group to follow - different people dressed casual, sporty, dressy, stylish - I had to start making up my mind who I was, as far as fashion was concerned.  It was work.  I remember thinking that it would be so nice just to put on my white blouse and plaid skirt and go.  But instead, I set out to carve my individuality in the world using my clothes.  I wasn't Lady Gaga of that little Baptist college, but I did set my own style and let my personality show. 

Now, I'm an elementary teacher.  Let me explain why that matters.  There is a shelf or drawer in every elementary school teacher's house that is full of school t-shirts.  After a few years, if you don't weed them out, they will run over!  Just this week alone, I was given two t-shirts and told when to wear them (and sometimes, what to wear them with!)  It was also announced that we will be able to order another t-shirt to wear on Mondays to advertise our behavioral program!  So if I wear that one on Mondays, the committee shirt on the Wednesdays of meetings, and the spirit shirt every Friday, that leaves Tuesday and Thursday to wear my own clothes!  Wow!

I am not anti-t-shirt.  I think they have a place.  One school shirt is cute, especially when you have special days or competitions, and especially when you can wear the same design the little ones wear.  They think that's cool.  And t-shirts are great for exercising.  My prejudice actually stems from vanity. I do not look good in t-shirts.  I am no longer as thin as I was in college, and my bust (not thin, either) is accentuated by the high neck on a t-shirt.  I spend the whole day making sure the t-shirt is pulled down far enough in the front and back, and not pulling too tight in certain spots.  I am not as comfortable in a t-shirt as I am in my professional clothes.  And, believe it or not, in spite of my age, I still want to be an individual!

So, whether the blame lies with the seven years of plaid uniforms, or with my vanity about wanting to choose more flattering outfits, I would like to publicly state my aversion to the number of t-shirts and days that we are required to wear them.  I know the publicly stating anything won't change the t-shirt trend, but I just had to get it off my chest.  I wish I could do that with the t-shirts.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go choose a design for the t-shirts my children in choir will be required (by me) to wear.

The Voice of Authority 7/30/13

It comes naturally to most teachers; that take-charge voice that can command a crowd.  If you're a very good teacher, it will simply sound authoritative and never sound like yelling.  There is an art to it!  As with any art form, some are more talented than others.  I want to make clear from the start of this post that I do not equate an authoritative voice with actual intelligence, necessarily.  (Except in my case, of course!)  Just because someone can speak as if they know what they are doing and know what is best for you, it "ain't necessarily so".

I speak loudly when necessary.  My sisters and I yelled a lot at growing up.  Not in a bad way, just.....LOUD!  We weren't obnoxiously loud in public (usually), but the house.....that was another story.  With three girls, there was a good bit of yelling that happened in the house.  It wasn't a large house, either.  We just got in a habit of yelling to each other across the house and it stuck.  Mama, the drama teacher, never had to tell us to project! So, I have to ability to speak very strongly. It's truly different from yelling, mind you, but still quite strong. (and a bit loud ;)  Using a strong speaking voice is an effective tool in the classroom, especially since I moved to Texas and teach anywhere from twenty to fifty children at a time! Here's a clarification for the rest of the story, however: speaking with authority does not have to involve a loud volume.  You can speak softly and project a quiet confidence that draws others to listen.  So don't think "loud", think "authority"!

The voice of authority has other uses besides the classroom.  Have you ever tried to return anything at a store?  I knew someone once that had to make up a complete story about why the item didn't work.  How ridiculous!  If you are within the return policy, I told that friend, you simply say "I'd like to return this, please.".  If you sound like you know what you're doing, 95% of the battle is already won.

I feel a little sorry for people that don't have the authority-voice. I have a former boss that has a real fear of microphones.  I also have several friends that think they can't speak in front of a crowd.  One, recently, just HAD to make the crowd laugh with her.  I think she made a joke about picturing all of them in their underwear, or naked....OK, maybe that works.  If the crowd laughs, they are with you - they are listening.  That's the point, right?  I believe everyone should have an authority-voice that they can use when necessary.

The voice of authority can make people behave - if used properly.  Once, at a gathering, one attendee had imbibed (!) a couple of glasses of wine, and was not listening to anyone.  I used my quiet voice of authority and said:  "Put your glass down, now."  Immediate compliance.  I won't lie - we gave several more commands to watch to whom the person would listen....turned out to be only me!  You can use the voice creatively and as entertainment.

Sometimes the voice of authority can save lives.  I heard a story from my children a few nights ago.  They went to a concert at which they had general admission "lawn seats".  The lawn at this venue is quite large, but was sold out for this particular event, therefore quite crowded.  A group of younger students was in front of my children and their friends.  One of the younger girls passed out.  Her friends phoned her mom, but just left her lying there until such time that the mom would arrive. My children, and all their friends, spoke up with the voice of authority and said "You need to get her to the paramedics, she is in danger!"  The younger group did not agree.  But my children and their friends stepped up to the occasion, carried the girl to the paramedics, by which time she obviously needed help and was taken in an ambulance.  My children and their friends did not know this girl, but they prevailed against her extremely immature friends and helped the young lady to medical attention.  In my mind's eye, I can hear my daughter using her authority-voice to tell those kids off.  (This has another moral, too - parents, please tell your children that their safety and well-being will always come before any "punishment".  Safety first, discussions about behavior later, because you love them!)

The most important use of an authoritative voice, however, is to advance you in school or career.  This is one of the main lessons I teach when students perform "programs" and receive a "speaking part".  If I can encourage a second-grader to speak clearly into a microphone, and then have that same child add emotion or comic timing by the time they are in fourth grade, I am giving them a valuable skill that will last a lifetime. I'm lucky enough to have seen many of them succeed as adults.  Only occasionally do they realize that Mrs. McCarty helped start them on their path to success, but that's all right, I still know where it all began!

I encourage you, when you know what you're talking about, speak out! Don't over-use the skill, find the balance.  Make sure you speak for fairness and good. Speak with authority! Only do so, though, if you are sure that you are correct. Be confident! When it comes the time to speak up for what is right against those that would do the wrong thing, be glad that you can use your authority for right to prevail.


"There is no index of character so sure as the voice."    Benjamin Disraeli

The thing about Keswick...

 

Dedicated to the friends and teachers from my time at Keswick Christian School, and especially to the class of 1980, all 31 of us!

I went to a private school.  That always elicits responses – “I went to Catholic school, too!”  No, I went to a private school.  “Oh, you mean like a rich boarding school or something?”  Time to expound.  No, I went to a private, Christian, non-denominational school.  Silence.  Not a church-based school, no one denomination, I explain.  Just a private, Christian school.  And the thing is…..it was a special place.

This school was not large.  There were thirty-one in my graduating class.  But we acted large.  We stepped out with faith and had soccer, volleyball, basketball, swimming, track, baseball, softball, band, chorus, drama, clubs, student council, banquets, class trips, you name it.  (Conspicuously absent from that list: football.  They have it now, though.) 

At a school that small, you get to know each other.  I mean KNOW each other.  I’m not saying that level of comfort lasted through to adult life – it dissipates after graduation.  Jobs and college cause new circles of friends to finally happen.  Also – having acquaintances finally happens.  Nobody was just an acquaintance at Keswick.  If they weren’t a good friend, they were “in your class”.  “In your class” at Keswick was just another way of saying you spent every day together, listening, learning, praying, laughing, creating, practicing, traveling, eating and trying to be big kids, just like public school.

It goes without saying, then, that Keswick students don’t forget each other.  They move on, marry other type people (most of the time), move away, claim their college or university over their high school (a normal progression), have families, most of their children go to different (even public!) schools; but bring up a Keswick name, and they immediately know who it is and how they used to act.  Bring up a Keswick teacher’s name, and the stories and memories come flooding back.  And most of all: let some sort of difficulty, even tragedy, befall a Keswick person, and support is automatically there from the other Keswick people.

It’s funny – I asked Facebook friends to share a favorite Keswick memory, and most of what was shared involved small details or equipment/activities that set us apart from other schools.  I thought I would get a response about the friendships formed; the kind of friendships where you can just pick up talking again after thirty years.  That was what my “thing” about Keswick is:  the people.  I recently saw three Keswick friends – from my class of thirty-one – at my husband’s memorial service.  They drove almost three hours to be there for me. Many others contacted me in various ways. That, to me, is what has lasted – the friendships.  True, some of my Facebook people mentioned “good friends”.  Evidently, though, there are many other strong memories and lasting effects of having attended Keswick.

Some of the contributions:  Four-square in the morning before school!  (Unsupervised, mind you – unheard of today.)  Never wanting to wear plaid again!  Getting paddled!  Sitting out on the log!  Unique P.E. subjects – swimming, trampoline, and archery!  Unique playground equipment – the witches hat! Teachers with trademark sayings – “semi, semi, semi, space”  “There’s allllllllways the two percent!”  Then there was the very fact that we had to wear a uniform skirt and HAD to wear socks and closed- toe shoes. This led to many interesting fashion choices, albeit on feet only. (Mine?  Yellow penny loafers and gold suede Adidas.)  The campus was so spread out that they used a school bus to take us to the cafeteria on rainy days.  Great memories!  Honestly?  Not all memories were perfect.  There were times when I was treated very unfairly.  (And I'm not talking about never making the cheerleading squad!)  I think every former "Keswickian" can recall a time when the need to follow all the rules left innocent individuals in undeserved trouble.  The way I see it now, it just makes a great story to tell every now and then.  To me, the privileges available, the fun, our senses of humor and the close-knit setting outweighed those "other" moments.

 But last, and probably greatest of the memories that were shared (said by another, but also said by myself so many times over the past thirty years) “John 10:10 burned into my head permanently”.  What?  John 10:10? The Bible verse?  Yes, but only three words of it.  The condensed version.  It looked like this:  Life………..more abundantly. Underneath, in smaller letters, it said John 10:10, in case you forgot, week after week.  This verse-portion was on the front wall of our chapel, where we attended service once a week.  I’m sure that back in the 1970s, I knew exactly how many dots were between ‘Life’ and ‘more’. 

I did say Keswick was a Christian school, right?  We prayed before every class, every ball game, every concert and play.  Many families gave unselfishly to causes or the school itself.  We could find ourselves discussing spiritual truths in Algebra, Science, English, you-name-it.  Our teachers were not only teachers of their subject, but they were charged with caring for our growth into fine young Christian adults.  (I don’t think they got paid enough!!)  One that I know personally has always lived what she preached.  I think almost all the faculty at that school felt and acted the same.  This might all sound a little over the top to today’s people.  But in our case, it worked.  The atmosphere, the unique-ness, the guidance received, and the rules (sorry, everyone) but mostly the care of a group of teachers that were actually our teen-life shepherds, turned us, for the most part, into the people we are today.

It’s very sad that a death in my immediate family made me realize what I’ve known inside all along: Keswick friends are forever friends. Denomination still doesn't matter.   If you are truly hurting or in need, those people will reach out to you.  At Keswick, we were prepared to be servants and to live “New Life” to the fullest.  These habits are ingrained and minister to the world today many years later, through many individuals.  The thing about Keswick is...it really did teach us, in spite of any present heartache, to live

“Life………more abundantly.”

                                                                                                                                John 10:10


*Ok, maybe I'm a little bitter about not being a cheerleader.....:)  I welcome comments and memories from all!