Effective Classroom Management Gone Bad 8/19/14

Back to school for teachers.  The meetings, the hugs, the surprise announcements of pregnancy and engagements.  The excitement/boredom combination that only that particular week can bring.  I've been to two days now, and something is disturbing me.  It's August 2014, and the town of Ferguson, MO is in such a state of unrest that it's affecting our nation.  The National Guard has helped out, and fifty-seven people were arrested last night.  They were protesting, throwing Molotov cocktails at and even shooting at police.  (The article stated that only four of those arrested lived in Ferguson, proving that people will go a distance to protest and cause harm.)  I am not taking a stand on the Michael Brown case. I feel so sorry for his family, just as I do for anyone that loses a family member.  I am commenting on the vaguely-named "protesters".  If you know me at all, you know that I am seriously anti-violence.  I have trouble with the idea of military and war at all, but this world makes forms of such an evil necessity.  I do know that a family lost somebody they loved and cared about, and rather than use the peaceful tools available, many of these "protesters" are causing more harm, injury and even death to try to.........what?

Yesterday, we played a game with our teacher handbook.  Various questions were asked, teachers had to locate the page number and answer, then run up front and ring a bell and see if their teams answer was correct.  Shorthand:  these are the issues that teachers don't do well on, let's pound them in your head with a game.  I stopped participating when something on page 14 caught my eye.  Under "Principles of Effective Classroom Management" it stated:  "Discipline students in private.  Do not redirect or reprimand in front of the other students."

I am at a loss for words.  I don't know if I can keep teaching.  I can't ask some boys and girls in my classroom "Please stop talking."" "Please don't touch her" "Put your rhythm sticks away, you broke the rules."?  I know there are many other ways, but sometimes a polite direct request works the little miracle we need at the time.  I teach between forty and fifty-five students at a time.  Alone.  Do I have to step out in the hallway with a student that is not allowing me to teach due to misbehavior?  Who watches the others?

Today, we had a presentation on classroom management.  The presenter was all about being positive.  Before I go any further, I have to say that I pride myself on being positive with children, and encouraging them constantly by praising good behavior.  The presenter this morning claimed that she only ever does that, and the worst children that are having a "bad day" are brought around by her praise.  Going into my twenty-fifth year, I can agree with that technique, but only for about 75% of the time.  There are some individuals, small as they may be, that (due to whatever life has dealt them) don't care, don't listen to the praise, abuse the privilege of being treated nicely and even cause a violent happening to a fellow student or myself.

I think there are grown-ups that don't care to obey the law today because the authorities in their young lives let them see by example that they would be rewarded if they chose to do wrong.  Should the authorities in Ferguson need to take one protester at a time to a side street and have a talk with them?  That's what education in America has led them to expect.  I'm glad I only have a few years left, and I hope I didn't scar any of the little darlings that I've corrected in class over the last twenty-five years.

I'm not who I used to be - but why? 4/3/13

I'M NOT WHO I USED TO BE!!!

I may see you after 20 to 30 years, at a reunion, or while visiting my family.  I look older, not skinny anymore, and the face - still smiley.  The makeup still done.  The rings, bracelets, earrings - still the same style.  But you don't know me.  I am not who I used to be.

I may have the same smile, the same laugh, and the same old eyes.  But I'm not that person anymore.  I keep that sweet, innocent, faith-that-could-change-the-world girl in a special place in my heart.  Every now and then, she has to surface.  It may be to comfort someone, it may be to fake it through a conversation, or it may be to defuse a situation with her peaceful, positive attitude.  But she stays put away unless needed.  She is not who I am anymore.

What changed?  Whose fault is it?  I have tried to analyze it so many times.  Was it moving a lot?  Was it having children?  Was it family? Friends?  Church people?  Disappointments?  The answer is yes.  As I have traveled the road from youth through middle age, everything has affected my beliefs and my core values.  Some things that I would have condemned when I was young are now things that I can not only accept, but stand for. 

What I wonder is - does this happen in every generation?  Could a 16-year-old that was raised with slavery turn into a 50-year-old that ran an equal opportunity business?  Did a 20-year-old that campaigned for prohibition later become a middle-aged social drinker?  I'm sure it did happen.  And so...I am one of the ones that has changed.  But what about those that don't?   Really- what's it like to be one of those people?

I have many friends on a certain social network that are from my high school days.  I sometimes take a "stalker-ish" look at their particular page to see if they've changed like I have.  Sometimes I don't need to look.  Some of them are still saying, endorsing, and espousing the same ideas and doctrines that we were fed in high school.  Some of them still have that change-the-world faith.  I'm a bit jealous of them in particular.  Others drop hints that they too, have changed.  Others declare it openly.  I just wonder how I "landed" in the changed group.

"Jaded" - an older word, meaning hardened, cynical, negative.  Am I jaded?  I hope not.  My career allows me to be a positive influence on little children all day long.  I couldn't manage that successfully if I were jaded.  But then something happens.  A little five-year-old girl tells me that mom and dad were fighting all night and dad threw mom down to the ground.  A nine-year-old boy tells me that his new step dad doesn't like him and makes him do chores from the time he gets home from school until bedtime.  The special beast that is the preteen almost-middle-schooler learns to get attention by putting down others hurtfully and publicly.  I always jump in and help, bridge, strive to foster healing.  It's my instinct.  But every instance over the years has taken away my innocence and belief that I can change the world.  Therein lies the problem.  As individuals, we cannot change the world. 

I think part of my answer (to the "how did I end up this way? question) has come to me while sharing these thoughts.  The blind faith gains sight - or insight - into particular situations when they cross my path.  And I - I do the grown-up thing and allow these situations to change me in the way I think honors and protects the precious souls and feelings of the individuals in this world that receive hurt after hurt.  Whether those individuals are children or adults, I think I owe them fairness.  And kindness.  And a listening ear and understanding heart.  I owe them love.  And if love has been what changed me, so be it.