Double classes. Sometimes it's terrible. Sometimes it's perfectly fine. Sometimes even - one hour of terrible followed by one hour of wonderful. Double classes for a "large group" teacher does not mean two homerooms. It means three to four homerooms of darling children.
It takes a certain amount of disciplinary skill to handle large group. There's the authoritative voice, the appeal to all the years that they have known you (and your expectations), the promise of reward, and the occasional threat (and action) of having to "sit out". It is possible to manage a large (from 60-90) group of students successfully if you have enough tricks in your bag.
Teaching double classes is difficult and sometimes annoying, but I only expound on that to relay the miraculous fact that I, on a day like today, can still be in a "good mood".
Someone like me, on their journey of grief, may smile, laugh or joke on the outside. But for a long period of time, those looks and sounds are surface only. I heard an actual account, just yesterday, of what others say about "how she's doing" (she being me). They say "She's doing great!" and best of all; "Her spirits are good." The person that knows my spirits is someone I only speak to about once a week.
I am not calling those people liars. They are telling the truth as they interpret it. They are seeing my act on the stage that is my world. The costumes, the makeup (Thank God!) the portrayal of expected emotions, and the utterances of the lines that everyone wants to hear. I have fooled them all, haha! Until now. Today, my smile felt real. Today, the feeling down deep inside matched the way my eyes crinkled with laughter. On a double class day, no less!
It's a journey. On a journey, you make progress. Some are quicker, some are slower. There is no minimum or maximum speed. Some progress is internal. Some is very public. And some...well, some has to do with coming to terms with your new self because all of the sudden it's not as new, it's who you are. It was an abrupt realization. In my mind I compared it to someone in the movies or on TV that is knocked out and not breathing.....and then WHAM! - they take that breath and they're still alive. My emotions did that recently. That isn't a complete victory over inner sadness - it's just a break from it. Like anything that starts, though, it can grow.
Today, I was doing great. The life-saving breath experience was still a memory that made me feel happy inside. My spirits were good today. It's about time, they've been bad inside for almost a year - in spite of what some others think. You just couldn't see it. Today, the double class did not incur my wrath. (Wrath for me usually being a lecture, haha.) Instead they incurred my humor and sly jokes that tricked them into behaving for me. I know that actually feeling the happiness I've faked for so long won't be permanent, but I pray it won't be a stranger, either.
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
The Voice of Authority 7/30/13
It comes naturally to most teachers; that take-charge voice that can command a crowd. If you're a very good teacher, it will simply sound authoritative and never sound like yelling. There is an art to it! As with any art form, some are more talented than others. I want to make clear from the start of this post that I do not equate an authoritative voice with actual intelligence, necessarily. (Except in my case, of course!) Just because someone can speak as if they know what they are doing and know what is best for you, it "ain't necessarily so".
I speak loudly when necessary. My sisters and I yelled a lot at growing up. Not in a bad way, just.....LOUD! We weren't obnoxiously loud in public (usually), but the house.....that was another story. With three girls, there was a good bit of yelling that happened in the house. It wasn't a large house, either. We just got in a habit of yelling to each other across the house and it stuck. Mama, the drama teacher, never had to tell us to project! So, I have to ability to speak very strongly. It's truly different from yelling, mind you, but still quite strong. (and a bit loud ;) Using a strong speaking voice is an effective tool in the classroom, especially since I moved to Texas and teach anywhere from twenty to fifty children at a time! Here's a clarification for the rest of the story, however: speaking with authority does not have to involve a loud volume. You can speak softly and project a quiet confidence that draws others to listen. So don't think "loud", think "authority"!
The voice of authority has other uses besides the classroom. Have you ever tried to return anything at a store? I knew someone once that had to make up a complete story about why the item didn't work. How ridiculous! If you are within the return policy, I told that friend, you simply say "I'd like to return this, please.". If you sound like you know what you're doing, 95% of the battle is already won.
I feel a little sorry for people that don't have the authority-voice. I have a former boss that has a real fear of microphones. I also have several friends that think they can't speak in front of a crowd. One, recently, just HAD to make the crowd laugh with her. I think she made a joke about picturing all of them in their underwear, or naked....OK, maybe that works. If the crowd laughs, they are with you - they are listening. That's the point, right? I believe everyone should have an authority-voice that they can use when necessary.
The voice of authority can make people behave - if used properly. Once, at a gathering, one attendee had imbibed (!) a couple of glasses of wine, and was not listening to anyone. I used my quiet voice of authority and said: "Put your glass down, now." Immediate compliance. I won't lie - we gave several more commands to watch to whom the person would listen....turned out to be only me! You can use the voice creatively and as entertainment.
Sometimes the voice of authority can save lives. I heard a story from my children a few nights ago. They went to a concert at which they had general admission "lawn seats". The lawn at this venue is quite large, but was sold out for this particular event, therefore quite crowded. A group of younger students was in front of my children and their friends. One of the younger girls passed out. Her friends phoned her mom, but just left her lying there until such time that the mom would arrive. My children, and all their friends, spoke up with the voice of authority and said "You need to get her to the paramedics, she is in danger!" The younger group did not agree. But my children and their friends stepped up to the occasion, carried the girl to the paramedics, by which time she obviously needed help and was taken in an ambulance. My children and their friends did not know this girl, but they prevailed against her extremely immature friends and helped the young lady to medical attention. In my mind's eye, I can hear my daughter using her authority-voice to tell those kids off. (This has another moral, too - parents, please tell your children that their safety and well-being will always come before any "punishment". Safety first, discussions about behavior later, because you love them!)
The most important use of an authoritative voice, however, is to advance you in school or career. This is one of the main lessons I teach when students perform "programs" and receive a "speaking part". If I can encourage a second-grader to speak clearly into a microphone, and then have that same child add emotion or comic timing by the time they are in fourth grade, I am giving them a valuable skill that will last a lifetime. I'm lucky enough to have seen many of them succeed as adults. Only occasionally do they realize that Mrs. McCarty helped start them on their path to success, but that's all right, I still know where it all began!
I encourage you, when you know what you're talking about, speak out! Don't over-use the skill, find the balance. Make sure you speak for fairness and good. Speak with authority! Only do so, though, if you are sure that you are correct. Be confident! When it comes the time to speak up for what is right against those that would do the wrong thing, be glad that you can use your authority for right to prevail.
"There is no index of character so sure as the voice." Benjamin Disraeli
I speak loudly when necessary. My sisters and I yelled a lot at growing up. Not in a bad way, just.....LOUD! We weren't obnoxiously loud in public (usually), but the house.....that was another story. With three girls, there was a good bit of yelling that happened in the house. It wasn't a large house, either. We just got in a habit of yelling to each other across the house and it stuck. Mama, the drama teacher, never had to tell us to project! So, I have to ability to speak very strongly. It's truly different from yelling, mind you, but still quite strong. (and a bit loud ;) Using a strong speaking voice is an effective tool in the classroom, especially since I moved to Texas and teach anywhere from twenty to fifty children at a time! Here's a clarification for the rest of the story, however: speaking with authority does not have to involve a loud volume. You can speak softly and project a quiet confidence that draws others to listen. So don't think "loud", think "authority"!
The voice of authority has other uses besides the classroom. Have you ever tried to return anything at a store? I knew someone once that had to make up a complete story about why the item didn't work. How ridiculous! If you are within the return policy, I told that friend, you simply say "I'd like to return this, please.". If you sound like you know what you're doing, 95% of the battle is already won.
I feel a little sorry for people that don't have the authority-voice. I have a former boss that has a real fear of microphones. I also have several friends that think they can't speak in front of a crowd. One, recently, just HAD to make the crowd laugh with her. I think she made a joke about picturing all of them in their underwear, or naked....OK, maybe that works. If the crowd laughs, they are with you - they are listening. That's the point, right? I believe everyone should have an authority-voice that they can use when necessary.
The voice of authority can make people behave - if used properly. Once, at a gathering, one attendee had imbibed (!) a couple of glasses of wine, and was not listening to anyone. I used my quiet voice of authority and said: "Put your glass down, now." Immediate compliance. I won't lie - we gave several more commands to watch to whom the person would listen....turned out to be only me! You can use the voice creatively and as entertainment.
Sometimes the voice of authority can save lives. I heard a story from my children a few nights ago. They went to a concert at which they had general admission "lawn seats". The lawn at this venue is quite large, but was sold out for this particular event, therefore quite crowded. A group of younger students was in front of my children and their friends. One of the younger girls passed out. Her friends phoned her mom, but just left her lying there until such time that the mom would arrive. My children, and all their friends, spoke up with the voice of authority and said "You need to get her to the paramedics, she is in danger!" The younger group did not agree. But my children and their friends stepped up to the occasion, carried the girl to the paramedics, by which time she obviously needed help and was taken in an ambulance. My children and their friends did not know this girl, but they prevailed against her extremely immature friends and helped the young lady to medical attention. In my mind's eye, I can hear my daughter using her authority-voice to tell those kids off. (This has another moral, too - parents, please tell your children that their safety and well-being will always come before any "punishment". Safety first, discussions about behavior later, because you love them!)
The most important use of an authoritative voice, however, is to advance you in school or career. This is one of the main lessons I teach when students perform "programs" and receive a "speaking part". If I can encourage a second-grader to speak clearly into a microphone, and then have that same child add emotion or comic timing by the time they are in fourth grade, I am giving them a valuable skill that will last a lifetime. I'm lucky enough to have seen many of them succeed as adults. Only occasionally do they realize that Mrs. McCarty helped start them on their path to success, but that's all right, I still know where it all began!
I encourage you, when you know what you're talking about, speak out! Don't over-use the skill, find the balance. Make sure you speak for fairness and good. Speak with authority! Only do so, though, if you are sure that you are correct. Be confident! When it comes the time to speak up for what is right against those that would do the wrong thing, be glad that you can use your authority for right to prevail.
"There is no index of character so sure as the voice." Benjamin Disraeli
Saturday, April 27, 2013
"Did you know that student over there is banging his head on the table?" 4/27/13
Yes, there was some head-banging happening. Not hard enough to hurt, just enough to show off. Four teachers had tried to talk to this student about the issue, but he would just scream and cry. The main teacher of the student faces this behavior from this same student almost every day. We know the personality well enough to let them calm down a bit first, then take care of whatever may be wrong, or may have been done wrong.
At the place where I teach, there is a discipline "program" that we follow. Let's call it "***". *** involves rewards for positive behavior. Many teacher hours go into creating guidelines for behavior in every area of the school; as well as the challenge of constantly being urged to come up with "new, fresh and exciting" rewards. *** just doesn't work. It also has given administrative staff the freedom to look at a teacher and say "you need to handle this yourself".
Now, before I expound upon a subject that is not only part of my everyday life, but what I feel is a huge contributor to the greater wrongs in this world, I will at least specify where my experience lies. I teach elementary music, grades kindergarten through fifth, in a public school in a very large district in Texas. Our school population for those ages I teach is a little over nine hundred. You may not get the impression from this particular post that I enjoy my career, but I do. I think I'm very good at a) teaching music basics, b) understanding little ones, respecting and meeting their needs, when possible, and c) using humor and structure to keep order within my classroom.
It's not just bad or ineffective parents that are creating the little ones of today with the "sense of entitlement" and plain old bad manners. Our schools, starting at the top echelon of each district, are bent on insisting that bad behavior of students is on the decrease. Programs such as **** serve one purpose - to lower the number of office referrals. In other words, students that misbehave no longer face consequences. Therefore, those acts of misbehavior do not become part of the record.
The old-fashioned among you (I include myself) may ask - "What is the purpose of not punishing wrong-doers? Isn't our whole society based on the concept of law and order?" You may disbelieve what I am telling you: that teachers are left to creatively discipline every child for every offense, without any backup or higher consequence. And yes, it is definitely not a true statement that NOBODY gets in trouble. If another child is harmed, there are consequences. If other parents call and complain about things their innocent child is a witness to, or worse, subjected to, steps are taken. If it makes the news, a consequence is part of the press release. In a nutshell - most things fly under the radar these days, without any serious repercussion for most serious misbehavior. Is it any wonder that some of our young adults that are facing the challenge of mental illness feel more free to act out with violence?
I did a little research - very little, I might add. I don't know to whom state education agencies are held accountable. The federal government, for monetary aid? The taxpayers and voters? I do know, simply by checking a few state education agency websites, that the public can view the discipline data by district, broken down by offense, race, and economics. Therefore, it is clear that every school district reports its "dirty laundry" - expulsions, felonious offenses, assault of faculty, even truants and in-school suspensions - to its governing state agency every year.
Can you imagine the picture of the superintendent of each district lining up at a confession booth? Every suit and tie business person that runs a district stepping in one at a time to confess the 'sins' of their children? Of course, that's just imagery on my part. But it is all reported. There is paperwork to be done, computer reports to submit, and, eventually, one grand table to be filled in on the state website, for all to see. Do the results affect anything at a state level? My research didn't give a clear answer. But when I checked the Texas Education Agency's website for discipline subjects, I did find a link to the Texas Education Code, Chapter 37, which charges each district to have a code of conduct that specifies everything that could lead to removal from the classroom up to expulsion. The terms are general, when you look from a elementary viewpoint. (They also have a misspelled word, which disturbs me on a completely different level.) I truly believe, with the wording being as general as it is in "Chapter 37", that those discipline reports could be used against a district when it came to funding decisions. A school district's best bet is to look as perfect as possible.
Perfect? With children? Children are not perfect. They run indoors, they push and hit each other, they interrupt adults, they lie, they show their privates to others, they pitch screaming kicking fits, they peel paint off walls and trash restrooms. That's just what I could say with one breath. I've been teaching for twenty-three years. I'm not being mean - those are the bare facts! Most children used to be taught to control the afore-mentioned impulses before attending school, but that's where times have changed. With the advent of more and more working parents and electronic entertainment, over half of a new kindergarten class does not know how to look at an adult and speak their first and last name. I'm not talking about shyness, I'm talking about social skills. Instead of being nurtured, experienced in public behavior, learning to sit quietly while be talked to or read to, and having some small responsibilities of which they can be proud of accomplishing, many new kindergarten age (5 years old) students cannot speak their name, do not know if they are a boy or a girl, and cannot walk around the corner to use the restroom alone. Instead of teaching them to start reading and counting and sorting, the first nine weeks of school are used to teach social skills.
Do I have the perfect answer? Of course not, or I would be in every state capital, selling my "method" to every state agency for the big bucks, like so many other companies and individuals out there. I've heard and used many methods in all my years. Most of them are a re-bottling of a college class I took in 1983, called Educational Psychology. The only new things I learned after that were the changing acronyms and certain gang information that I didn't learn in college! I know from experience, though, when the shark got jumped. I know what caused things to head down the wrong path. It is simply the fact that consequences were removed for general bad behavior. If a child is nothing but talkative, the teacher must deal with it. Silent lunch, take recess, sit apart, simple little things. For a very talkative child (yes, he may need medication, but no teacher can even imply that....or say anything if he is supposed to get it, but doesn't!) those consequences accomplish nothing. If sending him home would go on that state record, it doesn't happen! That child is free, with only small results, to keep all the other children in the classroom distracted. Children today are learning that breaking little rules doesn't matter.
My heart goes out to our children that have severe problems, diagnoses, whatever their challenge may be. The child that was banging their head on the table had gotten caught in a lie and was upset with himself. I did go talk to him (again), managed to let him know I would be fair with him when he settled himself and we resolved the issue about thirty minutes later. This child was a ten-year-old. As I said, I am kind to all and respect them as people even though they are little. I also manage to keep the terrible behaviors at bay with humor, kindness, a little wisdom (a good seating chart works wonders!!) and a little help from my friends! But I mourn the loss of the day when teachers, administrators, parents and the community worked as one to make sure that children learned how to behave correctly before they went on to middle school or high school. I fear that there will be many more violent lessons before we regain the strength and fortitude to actually discipline. I pray I'm wrong.
At the place where I teach, there is a discipline "program" that we follow. Let's call it "***". *** involves rewards for positive behavior. Many teacher hours go into creating guidelines for behavior in every area of the school; as well as the challenge of constantly being urged to come up with "new, fresh and exciting" rewards. *** just doesn't work. It also has given administrative staff the freedom to look at a teacher and say "you need to handle this yourself".
Now, before I expound upon a subject that is not only part of my everyday life, but what I feel is a huge contributor to the greater wrongs in this world, I will at least specify where my experience lies. I teach elementary music, grades kindergarten through fifth, in a public school in a very large district in Texas. Our school population for those ages I teach is a little over nine hundred. You may not get the impression from this particular post that I enjoy my career, but I do. I think I'm very good at a) teaching music basics, b) understanding little ones, respecting and meeting their needs, when possible, and c) using humor and structure to keep order within my classroom.
It's not just bad or ineffective parents that are creating the little ones of today with the "sense of entitlement" and plain old bad manners. Our schools, starting at the top echelon of each district, are bent on insisting that bad behavior of students is on the decrease. Programs such as **** serve one purpose - to lower the number of office referrals. In other words, students that misbehave no longer face consequences. Therefore, those acts of misbehavior do not become part of the record.
The old-fashioned among you (I include myself) may ask - "What is the purpose of not punishing wrong-doers? Isn't our whole society based on the concept of law and order?" You may disbelieve what I am telling you: that teachers are left to creatively discipline every child for every offense, without any backup or higher consequence. And yes, it is definitely not a true statement that NOBODY gets in trouble. If another child is harmed, there are consequences. If other parents call and complain about things their innocent child is a witness to, or worse, subjected to, steps are taken. If it makes the news, a consequence is part of the press release. In a nutshell - most things fly under the radar these days, without any serious repercussion for most serious misbehavior. Is it any wonder that some of our young adults that are facing the challenge of mental illness feel more free to act out with violence?
I did a little research - very little, I might add. I don't know to whom state education agencies are held accountable. The federal government, for monetary aid? The taxpayers and voters? I do know, simply by checking a few state education agency websites, that the public can view the discipline data by district, broken down by offense, race, and economics. Therefore, it is clear that every school district reports its "dirty laundry" - expulsions, felonious offenses, assault of faculty, even truants and in-school suspensions - to its governing state agency every year.
Can you imagine the picture of the superintendent of each district lining up at a confession booth? Every suit and tie business person that runs a district stepping in one at a time to confess the 'sins' of their children? Of course, that's just imagery on my part. But it is all reported. There is paperwork to be done, computer reports to submit, and, eventually, one grand table to be filled in on the state website, for all to see. Do the results affect anything at a state level? My research didn't give a clear answer. But when I checked the Texas Education Agency's website for discipline subjects, I did find a link to the Texas Education Code, Chapter 37, which charges each district to have a code of conduct that specifies everything that could lead to removal from the classroom up to expulsion. The terms are general, when you look from a elementary viewpoint. (They also have a misspelled word, which disturbs me on a completely different level.) I truly believe, with the wording being as general as it is in "Chapter 37", that those discipline reports could be used against a district when it came to funding decisions. A school district's best bet is to look as perfect as possible.
Perfect? With children? Children are not perfect. They run indoors, they push and hit each other, they interrupt adults, they lie, they show their privates to others, they pitch screaming kicking fits, they peel paint off walls and trash restrooms. That's just what I could say with one breath. I've been teaching for twenty-three years. I'm not being mean - those are the bare facts! Most children used to be taught to control the afore-mentioned impulses before attending school, but that's where times have changed. With the advent of more and more working parents and electronic entertainment, over half of a new kindergarten class does not know how to look at an adult and speak their first and last name. I'm not talking about shyness, I'm talking about social skills. Instead of being nurtured, experienced in public behavior, learning to sit quietly while be talked to or read to, and having some small responsibilities of which they can be proud of accomplishing, many new kindergarten age (5 years old) students cannot speak their name, do not know if they are a boy or a girl, and cannot walk around the corner to use the restroom alone. Instead of teaching them to start reading and counting and sorting, the first nine weeks of school are used to teach social skills.
Do I have the perfect answer? Of course not, or I would be in every state capital, selling my "method" to every state agency for the big bucks, like so many other companies and individuals out there. I've heard and used many methods in all my years. Most of them are a re-bottling of a college class I took in 1983, called Educational Psychology. The only new things I learned after that were the changing acronyms and certain gang information that I didn't learn in college! I know from experience, though, when the shark got jumped. I know what caused things to head down the wrong path. It is simply the fact that consequences were removed for general bad behavior. If a child is nothing but talkative, the teacher must deal with it. Silent lunch, take recess, sit apart, simple little things. For a very talkative child (yes, he may need medication, but no teacher can even imply that....or say anything if he is supposed to get it, but doesn't!) those consequences accomplish nothing. If sending him home would go on that state record, it doesn't happen! That child is free, with only small results, to keep all the other children in the classroom distracted. Children today are learning that breaking little rules doesn't matter.
My heart goes out to our children that have severe problems, diagnoses, whatever their challenge may be. The child that was banging their head on the table had gotten caught in a lie and was upset with himself. I did go talk to him (again), managed to let him know I would be fair with him when he settled himself and we resolved the issue about thirty minutes later. This child was a ten-year-old. As I said, I am kind to all and respect them as people even though they are little. I also manage to keep the terrible behaviors at bay with humor, kindness, a little wisdom (a good seating chart works wonders!!) and a little help from my friends! But I mourn the loss of the day when teachers, administrators, parents and the community worked as one to make sure that children learned how to behave correctly before they went on to middle school or high school. I fear that there will be many more violent lessons before we regain the strength and fortitude to actually discipline. I pray I'm wrong.
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