Saturday, November 2, 2013

Have-tos and Shoulds 11/2/13

What a week!  I knew I was a little behind on sleep/chores/TV due to my manic birthday weekend.  I didn't expect the compilation of all the tiredness/busy-ness/catching up to kick my butt all the way to Friday. But so it did. There is so much that I should be doing!  I sit now, typing, waiting for cold medicine to unclog at least one nostril so I can try to take a little nap.  How did I get to this point?  I don't really want to ever be dependent on anything - especially to unclog any part of me!! Let's see if I can re-trace my steps and find what little misstep led me here.

Last Friday, 10/25:  Got the flu shot.  Generally a good idea.  A little sore arm later in the day, but mentally anticipating wonderful health all winter while everyone else shivers, coughs, and sneezes.  Perhaps it is to blame for this malady I am suffering a week later?  It wouldn't be the first time that my superior attitude has made me pay a hefty price. Who knows?

Last weekend:  Can't be to blame, tiring but wonderful.  I did spend each weekend day in very public places, perhaps being exposed to new germs, even though I am an extremely careful hand-washer.  For the most part, though, a wonderful weekend.

Monday:  Ah, school.  Nothing like a day at school to turn on the auto-pilot.  Get up, get dressed, put on makeup, drink coffee.....I've taught meter a thousand times, and beat vs. rhythm even more.  I was so determined to not let the busy weekend affect me (like an old person...) that I went straight for my walk after work, then went to the grocery store.  I came home, had dinner and caught up on two sitcoms before watching 'Dancing With the Stars'.  Ok, kind of an old person anyway, but a decent day.  I always play Candy Crush while watching 'Dancing'.  Near the end of the show, my phone just turned off.  Never to come back on.  Instead of heading to bed to beat the 11:00 hour, I was on the phone with Verizon, who had me try some phone gymnastics, none of which did anything.  At that point, they said they would send another phone overnight, but it wouldn't ship until Tuesday, so I wouldn't get it until Wednesday.  I convinced myself I could survive and went to sleep.

Tuesday:  It feels weird to spend a day without a cell phone.  I notified those closest, and survived it, but it feels weird.  I felt a little sad all day, not being able to peek at social media and see what all my friends were up to!  I also found out that I had done something in the wrong order at work, which would reflect on someone else.  Of all the "things" that happen in adult life, I get most depressed if something I do gets someone else in trouble.  Evidently, in the district, before you order t-shirts for a group, you are supposed to request a purchase order and guess how many will be ordered.  If you wait until the actual number of orders, money and invoice have come in, you've done it wrong.  Go figure.  (It did make me feel a little better that an administrator had made the same mistake..) I felt down, sad, tired, and went home with every intention of taking poor Cuddles (also known as thyroid-cat) to the new vet.  I sat down.  I got sadder and more tired.  I called my mom and cried.  I felt the weight of all the 'shoulds' in my life, and the fact that only I'm left to do them.  I didn't take Cuddles on Tuesday.  I put in for a half-day sick day on Wednesday to take care of that and get some rest, or do some "shoulds". 

Wednesday:  Early morning choir!  Yes, an extra rehearsal for my babies, to help memory for Saturday's performance. I just torture myself, don't I?  Gladly taught the morning through, knowing I could leave at noon.  Nobody had picked up the substitute job, though.  That is not my fault or my responsibility.  I followed the correct procedure for entering an absence.  Somehow, though, we are made to feel guilty that somebody will have to cover if we're out.  Guess what?   I stopped feeling guilty about that last May.  I am allotted a certain number of sick  and personal days, and it's no body's business when I take them and what I do with them.  The district (or better yet, the bosses) can get over it.  One friend this week told me that one of the bosses actually asked her if she really needed to go to the doctor, and asked what she was going for!  Pretty sure that's illegal......I actually hope they ask me that sometime!  That friend has accumulated over fifty days, by the way.  Anyway, as I taught through the morning, I felt sniffles, a sore throat and a headache.  Whatever sickness karma there is was telling me if I was going home at noon, by golly, I was going to be sick!  I managed to take Cuddles to the vet, first of many visits to solve many problems, then went home and rested. Got the new phone.  It didn't work.  Called Verizon, they sent another.  Holy cow!  Felt worse.  Couldn't breathe, didn't walk, tried to go to bed early, another choir rehearsal awaited in the morning!

Thursday:  Halloween!!  Super Duper Rain!!  Sure enough, very rainy, flooded streets, the 25 minute drive took 45 minutes, sniffy nose, worried about choir, t-shirts, many other things.  But children?  They don't care about any of that if it's Halloween!  They only know that candy is in their future!  I have this to say to all of those who nay-say Halloween based on any origin involving evil........for the past fifty years, it has been about nothing but merchandising.  Costume and candy sales with the easiest target consumer in the world - the kid.  Kids don't care who you worship as long as they get some Skittles.  Just have fun!  (In saying that, attending some of the church -sponsored 'trunk or treats' have been our most fun years!)  So school was busy, because the kids have to be distracted from the fact that it's Halloween!!  The t-shirts arrived, all work was completed, move on to the evening.  I was a zombie.  No, I didn't dress up.  I just couldn't breathe or taste, so I sat back and let everybody else celebrate, eat, trick-or-treat. I set up the second new phone.  I answered the door.  I hope I didn't pass out too many germs with the candy!

Friday was an exhaustion day.  In preparation for Saturday's concert, t-shirts were passed out, music and sound equipment packed up, last minute e-mails answered and sent, and all by sore, tired, can't-breathe me.  I went home, and prepared for a nap.  Unfortunately, I have to be able to breathe through my nose a bit in order to sleep.  I will let you know what worked and how this ends.  I got so tired typing all of this that I thought "No wonder I got sick - just think how tiring it is actually doing all that!"  And that, my friends, is dedicated to every teacher everywhere.  Just do the "have-tos" and maybe you'll have a little left for the "shoulds".  If you don't, there's always the weekend.

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