A Conversation Between My Feelings (F) and My Brain(B):
F: I'm old.
B: Just because you're a certain number doesn't mean you're ready for the home. You're as young as the ideas you have, the people you can keep up with, and the active things you can do. There are other people out there that seem older even though they're not!
F: Ok, fine. But why do I even bother to talk and tell people things? Nobody listens.
B: You just feel that way at certain times. It's not true. Students listen and you can see the "light bulb" moment when it happens. Your children listen, it just shows up later. Other people listen, some even follow your advice. The workplace......well, you can keep working on that one. Saying the same thing for seven years has to have some effect!
F: I can't deal with things right now.
B: Even by saying that, you are 'dealing'. It just may be a different reaction than you would have had before. You're doing the best you can, and you are living up to the bare minimum expectations. It's not necessary to be the valedictorian of life when you've been through this.
F: I want to cry a lot.
B: So cry!
F: But I'm always trying to hide it.
B: That is a built-in reaction, isn't it. Judge your surroundings and audience and proceed as necessary. If it attacks beyond reason, just excuse yourself.
F: So many friends and people are so nice to me. I don't know if I can be that nice back - or if I seem thankful enough. I feel like an empty locust shell sometimes.
B: Do the best you can. Reserve a day to try hard and catch up. If it doesn't work that day, try again another day. Tell people you appreciate them. Hug them. Send them thank-yous. Put stuff on social media. Try not to be a grouch.
F: But I feel grouchy a lot of the time.
B: Haven't I taught you that how you feel isn't always the real you? In 50 years, including the crying-in-the-room teenage years, you haven't figured that out? So you feel grouchy. It'll pass. A friend will make you laugh. Kids at school will make you laugh. Grouchy is not a forever state.
F: Ok, I feel better. But I still kinda want to be the valedictorian of life.
B: You never were one to give up.
Amen
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