Ring Around the Issue

Everyone wants something done.  There is not a soul that says "Oh, just leave EVERYTHING the way it is, it's working great!"  Everyone is standing around a perfectly round circle, looking toward the center from their personal viewpoint. Many, many points on the circle claim that this is their time to take charge.  This is their time to change what they see as the root of the problem.  Students have a view.  Lawmakers have a view.  Teachers have a view.  Parents have a view.  Law-abiding gun owners have a view. Politicians have a view. Even within each group mentioned, the views may differ widely.

With the advent of immediate news and social networking, it is a foregone conclusion that a democracy such as America sometimes boils down to the fact that the side that makes the most noise wins.  The side that can inflict the most public shame on the other side wins.  What one side thinks is the absolute white to the other side's black and the other side is stupid beyond all belief.

Tragedy creates outcry. The strength and effectiveness of the outcry is in direct correlation to the degree of the tragedy.  When there is alignment between horrific tragedy, a wide net of procedures that were bent or broken, and well-spoken young Americans creating the outcry, the media forces us to pay attention.

It is not my intent in writing this to declare where I am on the circle.  It is my intent to possibly have anyone on any arc of the circle look around and realize there are 360 degrees to the viewpoints that have ideas as to how to respond to this tragedy.  Yes, many things can be addressed; but let's try to be logical!

Are there already laws that aren't being followed?  How about we put some energy and funds into enforcing those laws?  Are there common sense things you can do to prevent that type of tragedy from happening again?  Do it!  Make it a habit!  Just today, I was a local headline on a story about thieves stealing from vehicles; it said "Residents, lock your doors!".  The mindset of a time and place where doors could be left unlocked is not conducive to preventing the type of tragedy we have seen recently. Times have changed.  Taking your shoes off at airport security is a pain, but we do it and feel safer for it! Are you a parent that doesn't snoop?  Do it!! Go through their stuff.  Do they pay for it?  Chances are if they do, it's a very small portion.  Look through backpacks, purses, phones, closets, drawers, computer browsing history, cars - and yes, you may get a bit of a broken heart in doing so, but you will also stay in touch and hopefully learn when to seek help.

Once we step up to the plate with what is already in place, then we can look and see if any big new changes make sense.  Logically.

Try to turn your neck and look at the views on the left and right of your position on the circle. If someone expresses their view from their arc, don't cry stupidity the moment you realize they come from a different angle.  Be logical.  Imagine that you have to answer for your beliefs and your statements. Don't believe something just because of social media or because someone in Hollywood said so.  Be aware that the media - all of it - is the product of humans.  Talk to people.  Be nice to people.  Know that drastic times call for logical intelligence more than they do drastic measures.

Princess manners or; Lessons from my Mom 2/28/14

I had a 'princess tea party' with a four year old last night.  She was adorable.  I think it was an excuse to con me out of a cookie and some ice cream, but we had fun.  Real sweet tea in the teapot, Disney princess cups, the works.  She asked the cutest question along the way:  "Do princesses always have to use their manners?" I answered very thoughtfully (this not being my child.....) "Of course they do!  But every now and then, a princess might be hanging out with her other princess girl friend and they might not need quite as many manners."  Answer accepted.  A few minutes later, when she said something about dog poop, I surmised that I was now a princess girl friend and the tea party was over.

She made me think of all the wisdom that women give their little princesses all through life. Some is fun, some very serious. I made a little list, just to honor all the fun, loving and very important things I learned from my mom....and her mom, her aunt, and others along the way!

A few of the royal rules:

1.       “No” can be used as a complete sentence.  Often.

2.       When nobody else gives you flowers for a while, buy them for yourself

3.       If I set foot in the ocean, every sailfish, grouper, whale, salmon, ray, octopus, turtle, dolphin, hippo, shark, and anything else out there will come bite my toes.

4.       Any creature that doesn't live in the ocean is welcome in my house. (Except big snakes.)

5.       Every now and then, you just gotta buy yourself a Camaro.

6.       Always wear your lipstick and polish your toes, you never know who you’re going to meet.

7.       If you’re good at something and it benefits others, say ‘yes’ more often than you say ‘no’.

8.       Electronics purchases are based on how pretty the lights are.

9.       Wear a slip.

10.   Call when you get there.

11.   Whatever your creative self does, do it to make yourself happy.  Don’t worry about getting rich or famous, just do it for fun.

12.   There is no stopping point to the acquisition of jewelry (that one is really mine…)

13.   Plants are friends.

14.   Shoes are not friends.

15.   Dogs and cats are equals.

16.   Any recipe can be adapted.

17.   A good tan hides a lot.

18.   Every now and then, spending the entire Saturday with your best friend is just necessary.

19.   Kids are everything.  Until grandkids come along, and then there is a new category of everything.

20.   Pray without ceasing.

I love you, mom!

Only One First 8/12/13

We drove about 800 miles this summer with a kitten in the car.  My sister found her abandoned in Florida while we were visiting.  My girls had planned on adopting a kitten for their college apartment.  It was a match made in heaven.  "Isis", of the long tail. pointy ears, and pointy nose, has been walking, running, leaping joy in our house this summer.  Joy helps put a little ointment on grief occasionally, so I think it was meant to be.   Isis was a tiny baby kitten during this car trip, six weeks old at the most.  We all cooed and baby-talked to her.  Near the end of the trip, Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" came on the radio.  I said "Awwww, it's Isis' first Bohemian Rhapsody.".  We laughed - every tiny thing that happened to that new little creature could be a "first". 

I, on the other hand, am not young, cute, new, or full of joy.  Yet my new situation, I learned this weekend, will hold a lot of  'firsts'.  And nobody will say "Awwwww!"  These firsts for me are difficult, as they are the first time I will handle a situation without the amazing wisdom and insight of the man I trusted with my life.  I am brave, and I like to think that a little of his wisdom and insight rubbed off on me during our years together.  I research and calculate and figure and plan.  The only problem is......there's no ratings, research, or math that can measure emotional cost. 

My first this past weekend was buying a car for my daughter.  We need to upgrade all of our older vehicles, as the person that could repair them and keep them running for us is gone.  With my girls driving to college five hundred miles away, I need them in dependable cars.  We had sacrificed a lot of dependability with no qualms about doing so, as Scott enjoyed keeping the cars running and could perform 95% of all repairs.  Since that resource is no longer available, I have to step up and make sure all three of us are in good shape in the automotive department.  With four cars to sell to upgrade three people, I saw it as an easy task.

It is easy to find ratings and rankings on vehicle dependability.  It is easy to find the "right" price that you should pay.  It is easy for my youngest daughter to be very specific about what she does - and doesn't- want in a vehicle. Then, to make it easier, I do have a very dear friend in the car business.  They still made a profit on me, but I felt comfortable with the margin. I did have to make a trip to the location where my friend worked, but it was a bonus to spend a weekend with another very dear friend. 

I was prepared. Money, insurance, proof of id, extra driver, (lots of dear friends helped with this enterprise!), a pen to sign my name over and over, and my phone fully charged to check Facebook and crush some candies. Dear friends dropped me at the dealership, where I got to work.  It should be a breeze, right?  I had already done all the research!  First things first, I had to inspect it (having chosen it online), and then drive it.  The sensibility of doing these things before signing and paying made total sense.  I approved the car, gave the green light, and was seated at a desk. 

Thank goodness for the phone!  It evidently takes a long time to get all the paperwork together.  I had to fill out one short form, and then just sit.  I did enjoy the family with two little boys at the next desk.  They were so young, so cute, and didn't care a hoot about the car Mom and Dad were buying!  After so many Facebook checks, and so many tries at a certain level of Candy Crush, I was ushered into a business office.  Then, the next question threw me.

Did I want to add a complete warranty?  (OF COURSE!! THIS IS FOR MY CHILD!!)  It would only cost x amount of dollars to do so, and it's a great idea!  Whoa.........that's x more than the number in my well-planned, well-rehearsed script!  Oh no!  Who can I ask?  I sent mind-messages to the person that would have advised me on this, hoping for some kind of vibe, positive feeling, big red stop sign, anything.....all the while, smiling, frowning and tearing up.  When will I learn to carry tissues?  Thank goodness, dear friend came in (maybe that was the positive sign?) and talked me through the decision, reassured me which choice was best, and I committed.  All by myself. 

That's it!  Write it up!  Pay the total!  Accept the keys and drive my baby's car back to dear friend's house.  That sounds easy.  Only I know that I alternately talked to the sky and sobbed all the way back.  I did manage to have some fun on the weekend trip, but I also took some naps and nursed a headache.  I realized after I performed this great feat that I had done a "first".  It was not fun, and none of the firsts that are yet to come will be either.  The only way to get them to not be a "first" is to do them once.  They may sound the same after that, but at least I will know the huge part of the lesson that I learned this past weekend:  In all the research and preparation, don't forget to count the emotional cost, and prepare for it as well.  It's a bold print-type cost and you can't hide from it. 

Maybe there will be a post on buying the next upgraded vehicle - after I sell a couple to finance that endeavor.  I hope that it will sound and feel pretty much the same, and I'll know what to expect.  You can ask little Isis the kitten if that's true.  You see, on the way home from getting her kitten shots at the vet about a week ago, "Bohemian Rhapsody" came on the radio again. I was just able to turn to that baby kitty and say "'Member this?"  There's only one first, after that I should know all the costs involved, literal or emotional.

Crayons - from 2002 7/26/13

Written in 2002, and dedicated to anyone, parent or teacher, that gives of themselves to children.

Crayons

 

Can a crayon stay sharp?

Can a child keep them nice?

No.

Children eat crayons.

Children break crayons.

Some children are crayon-peelers.

Children color so hard that the crayon-tip becomes rounded and the crayon makes that sticky noise against the paper.

When the crayons start life, they live and fit in their box. When crayons meet children, they lose their balance, flopping around the box, stumbling and hurting themselves.

The longer crayons know the children, the more frayed and smooth they become.

The happiest crayons in the world are half the size they used to be, naked, and living in a commune in a Cool Whip tub.

We could learn a lot from these happy crayons. The reason they’re happy is because they have left a part of themselves behind with every child they’ve touched.