Presents Are Fun, But What Do You Give?

This music teacher had a lovely Christmas season.  The choir sang beautifully before the local Christmas parade, then sang the National Anthem for the Harlem Globetrotters.  The fourth graders performed their sweet little Christmas show with only a few glitches.  Little ones sang and danced and played jingle bells in class.  Who could ask for more?  I teach a bunch  (400+!) of sweet darlings that smile, laugh, hug, and love on a daily basis.

I got two sweet gifts from students this year. I am not a homeroom teacher, so there's never been loads of gifts.  As a one-time mom of elementary students, I understand it financially!! Anyway, I got a golden (my description to kids) cup with a lid and hot chocolate/marshmallows enclosed and a palm tree LED candle.  I love them, and I will keep them - if I may be truthful,in years past that hasn't always been the case. I think they are beautiful. I share this with you, my friends, so that you can see all sides of reality in the teaching world.  Please don't take this wrong - this is not a complaint!  I have, given the opportunity, always chosen the schools with a population that is more in need.  I choose to teach darlings that may not have much. I will state with no qualms whatsoever that sharing with these young people is more rewarding than any fancy basket full of gifts.  I get a deep satisfaction from what I can give them! If you are a teacher in a Title I or low-income school, you understand.  There are five things that I try to give children on a daily basis.  I believe giving these things is paramount to helping these young lives grow successfully.

First, I give them a positive interaction to start their day. It's a privilege to greet them at breakfast and call them by name.  Asking if they are all right and encouraging them to have a great day is a great start to my day as well.  Not all of these sweeties come from a routine of ease in the morning, so I do my best to instill confidence in them that school is calm, consistent and ready for them to do their best.

Second, I give small challenges.  I give challenges they can meet.  If they are a particularly rowdy individual, I encourage them to get right to work in the classroom without any fuss.  I encourage them to say "yes m'am" three times and just follow the instruction. All types of students rise to the challenges.  I encourage older ones to "kick their test in the rear end"! (I might even say "butt" and then act like I shouldn't have....it makes them laugh!) Sometimes they smile, laugh, or just hang their heads, but they all say that they'll try.  After that, I make sure I instill confidence and tell them "I KNOW you can!" - with my most brilliant you-can-do-it smile.

Third, I give assistance. Someone took your headphones on the bus?  Let's go get help. You accidentally came to school with you shirt inside-out?  You have permission to go fix it.  You lost the homework sheet?  Let's try to find another one.  Goodness knows my own children probably needed help in the morning in elementary school, in spite of my best efforts as a parent.  The students know that they can trust me to help.

Fourth, I give hugs.  Some little ones need "their hug" every day.  Others just occasionally need a "hey, you're great" hug.  We load them with responsibility and talk to them about how grown up they are all the time; but they are children.  And sometimes they need a hug.

Fifth, I give them love. I started a few years ago telling my students that I love them.  Saying it out loud, to their face.  It felt weird at first, I've always been somewhat reserved, but when it comes to children, those words are magic.  I tell them I love them with the first morning hug and I tell them when I am re-directing or correcting them.  At the end of the 2017 school year, a little six-year-old in Jackson, MS was murdered during a car theft.  It was driven home to me that these precious children can never hear those words enough - and I can do my part to say it.

Education has changed so much in the past century - I've personally witnessed the past thirty-five years from the teacher point of view.  As we collect data and reduce children to scores and graphs, it's more important than ever to remember that love helps them grow equally as much as any work they may be doing. I am so grateful to work at a school at which every adult knows this; they greet, challenge, help, hug and love the children the same way I do. It's worth it.

Teacher Talk

Tomorrow - my twenty-ninth first day of school as a teacher.  Considering I took five years off, I started teaching thirty-three years ago.  Boy, a lot has changed!  My first year teaching we used paddling as a consequence.  Like I said, times have changed.

Today, the last "teacher work day" before students come tomorrow, I realized something that has not changed.  Teacher talk.  Teachers can spend literal hours talking about teaching.  Do we talk about your children?  Probably; it's our job to help them grow and learn.  We rejoice with them when we do so successfully, and get frustrated when we can't help them reach every goal.  More often, though, we just talk about "how to teach".

"How to teach" is our favorite topic of conversation.  There is no outline, no agenda, just laughter, curiosity, and soaking up knowledge.  What about when they can't hold their pencil?  Try a giant crayon.  How did you get them to write complete sentences?  I used the peers that had it down as the 'sentence police'.  What about the one that blew snot bubbles to get out of standing on the wall at recess?  Oh no, you'll have to be a teacher to hear how to solve that one!

In the space of one hour at lunch today, seven of us learned more about classroom management from each other than we did from the "professional" that lectured us for three hours straight last week.  Because everything we attend must be structured, outlined, documented...on and on with the adjectives, we are never just given meeting time to just sit around and talk.  

Here's a novel idea, school districts, state CEU agencies, instructional specialists, etc.; create a meeting and call it Peer Mentoring.  Have a sign-in sheet, a cold classroom (from what I've seen it's a necessity for these meetings), snacks, water, and just let the teachers be.  Let them talk.  Let the experienced ones tell how they do this and the novice ones tell how they do that.  Let a group of teachers use their experience and knowledge to build each other up.  Teacher talk.  The meeting of the future.

Hey Y'all, who are you, where are you from?

I've been writing and tracking this blog for five years now.  I had hoped to change the world, but I know in reality that world change happens one person at a time.  As I track, it shows me what country you read from. 

It doesn't show any personal information about you, don't worry.  That's why I'm curious.  Who are you?  I would love it if you would leave a comment about where you're from, what you do, how you stumbled across these writings, what you thought (it's ok, I can take it...), anything you'd like to say or ask. 

So read on  - I even go back and read them myself sometimes. 

Love and Peace to all of you,

Diane
"Grace Under Pressure"

Hold a grudge? Not me........

I've been struggling with something for a while now.  Let's see if any of you have a similar problem.  Years ago, about 24 years ago to be exact, somebody was very mean to me.  Flat-out rude.  In front of quite a few people - some of whom took up for me and tried to right the situation.  Thank goodness for those people, because I didn't end up thinking that the entire room hated me.  Twenty-four years?  How would that affect me still?  ......you might ask.

Here's the deal.  I imagine myself coming in contact with that person in the present.  (It could happen, although chances are it won't.)  Instead of imagining my gracious self saying "Oh, I remember you, hello!"  I scheme and pet my cat, a' la Dr. Evil, and dream up ways to tell the whole imaginary crowd that they were very mean to me in the past and don't deserve my attention now.

My heart knows, however, that such a reaction would be wrong, immature and against everything I teach and try to live.  I really don't think I have it in me to confront anyone in that way, no matter how I feel inside.  I could probably type it, from the comfort of my own home, constructing all the phrasing to show me in the best light, them in the worst.......oh wait, that sounds so familiar.

Maybe we all have a past incident that we would love to re-visit in today's time, just to show "I was right" or "You were wrong" or "Look where I am now!" I suppose it's human nature.  In reality though, we need to remain gracious and kind.  I have stalked the mean person from my past and seen them in family pictures, having fun, looking oh so nice.  I suppose I could change my heart and be my sweet self if ever a chance meeting happened again.  Thinking about payback is amusing, but in real life, I vote for being nice, all the time.

Dogs and Cats Living Together.........

Mass hysteria. Marches. Media wars. Social media wars. Young people, older people. Politicians, neophytes. Name-callers, silent sufferers.

It's ugly right now.  Uglier than I remember anything being in a long time. The outcry against guns is met by an immediate "don't tread on me" defense.

I'm going to weigh in here.  Hardly anyone reads this so I can unload a bit. It's my right to own a gun.  It's also my responsibility to make sure nothing bad happens with that gun. Americans that are asking for more controls and law changes are begging to be treated as if they were in nursery school.

I do believe the current laws should be followed. I don't mind you doing a background check on me. I'm a responsible person.

I do mind if you try to take away my constitutional rights. Have any of those that are crying to be treated like infants aware of how many firearms there are in our nation? Enough where any change in law would not make an inch of a difference.

Step up, innocents.  Fight for better mental health care, more rights for schools and parents to discipline wayward children, more money for education and secure educational facilities.  There are concrete things that can make a difference.  Perhaps take a look at them?  Or..... just keep ranting about how all of the sudden the laws need to change and turn us into a day-care.

Fifth Grade Thunderdome

Once a year, the weather starts to warm up, Easter decorations hit the stores, weekend festivals abound and the fifth graders that I teach are put through a grueling experience.  No, not testing, not a spring dance, not a sports competition: the grueling experience is called "Mass Choir".

How can singing be so difficult?  Children singing; just the words evoke sweetness and light, love, hope for the future, and everything that is right with the world. Most of the time, that is true for me.  I love my school and I love the darlings that I teach. We sing the cutest, sweetest songs and have so much fun.  Mass Choir, though, looms over me like a giant monster most of the school year.  Here's the background, as I am aware of it.  The superintendent declared that since the seven elementary schools feed into only two middle schools and one high school that the fifth graders should celebrate the end of the time in elementary and their coming together "as one" by performing an hour-long concert for their parents.  Every fifth grader in the district.  Whether they want to or not, whether they enjoy singing or not.

Have you ever experienced eleven-year-olds (or twelve or thirteen....) in the springtime?  I am reminded of the young creatures that spring around the barnyard, all mischief, joy and self-awakening.  I'm not saying they are badly behaved, I'm saying that by nature they are reaching for independence and acceptance among their peers.  The way in which they do that reflects whether they already possessed good behavior or not.  As planners of Mass Choir, the respective music teachers from each school do our best to find engaging and contemporary songs that these young adults will enjoy.  We also attempt to keep their "antsy" young selves busy by adding "moves" (less than choreography, more than finger-snapping) to all the songs.  From August to January, we choose songs and create moves.  We teach songs, send home lyrics and CDs, have competitions, do any positive behavior encouragement that we can to prepare the students for the big night.  We also take care of the logistics of the evening, but that's another complete story!

Imagine the last week of rehearsal. There are sixty students, in my case, one hundred at some schools, standing on risers together knowing that they're supposed to sing and move.  The superintendent never sees this part of the process.  It is the reason I came up with the term "grueling".  If not for a super-supportive specials team, fifth grade teachers and administration, it would not happen!  By nature, it is a Thunderdome of sorts - who can make whom laugh, who talks about someone else's mama, who can pass gas at just the right time - you get the picture. Somehow, some way, we manage to get them to sing and move enough to look like they know what they're doing. The only one that doesn't get the picture is the one that ordained it and will show up next week and talk about how wonderful that they can all sing together with energy and smiles and grow up to be the pride of the district.

Then the music teachers turn and smile and wave.  Within the next week we evaluate the year's show and start discussing next year's engaging music.  They all enter, they all come out, but the music teachers stay for another Thunderdome, year after year. 

Ring Around the Issue

Everyone wants something done.  There is not a soul that says "Oh, just leave EVERYTHING the way it is, it's working great!"  Everyone is standing around a perfectly round circle, looking toward the center from their personal viewpoint. Many, many points on the circle claim that this is their time to take charge.  This is their time to change what they see as the root of the problem.  Students have a view.  Lawmakers have a view.  Teachers have a view.  Parents have a view.  Law-abiding gun owners have a view. Politicians have a view. Even within each group mentioned, the views may differ widely.

With the advent of immediate news and social networking, it is a foregone conclusion that a democracy such as America sometimes boils down to the fact that the side that makes the most noise wins.  The side that can inflict the most public shame on the other side wins.  What one side thinks is the absolute white to the other side's black and the other side is stupid beyond all belief.

Tragedy creates outcry. The strength and effectiveness of the outcry is in direct correlation to the degree of the tragedy.  When there is alignment between horrific tragedy, a wide net of procedures that were bent or broken, and well-spoken young Americans creating the outcry, the media forces us to pay attention.

It is not my intent in writing this to declare where I am on the circle.  It is my intent to possibly have anyone on any arc of the circle look around and realize there are 360 degrees to the viewpoints that have ideas as to how to respond to this tragedy.  Yes, many things can be addressed; but let's try to be logical!

Are there already laws that aren't being followed?  How about we put some energy and funds into enforcing those laws?  Are there common sense things you can do to prevent that type of tragedy from happening again?  Do it!  Make it a habit!  Just today, I was a local headline on a story about thieves stealing from vehicles; it said "Residents, lock your doors!".  The mindset of a time and place where doors could be left unlocked is not conducive to preventing the type of tragedy we have seen recently. Times have changed.  Taking your shoes off at airport security is a pain, but we do it and feel safer for it! Are you a parent that doesn't snoop?  Do it!! Go through their stuff.  Do they pay for it?  Chances are if they do, it's a very small portion.  Look through backpacks, purses, phones, closets, drawers, computer browsing history, cars - and yes, you may get a bit of a broken heart in doing so, but you will also stay in touch and hopefully learn when to seek help.

Once we step up to the plate with what is already in place, then we can look and see if any big new changes make sense.  Logically.

Try to turn your neck and look at the views on the left and right of your position on the circle. If someone expresses their view from their arc, don't cry stupidity the moment you realize they come from a different angle.  Be logical.  Imagine that you have to answer for your beliefs and your statements. Don't believe something just because of social media or because someone in Hollywood said so.  Be aware that the media - all of it - is the product of humans.  Talk to people.  Be nice to people.  Know that drastic times call for logical intelligence more than they do drastic measures.

It's just NOT

I heard long ago that security of life is different in third world countries than it is here.  That they understand the fact that not all their friends and family will even make it to adulthood. I am so saddened to see that things are starting to look that way in the U.S.A.  We barely move on from the news of one shooting when another happens.   When did people become so violent? It's not the availability of the weapons.  It's not that we need prison reform.  It's not the failing of any system or program, although many are failing.  It's simply that,  somewhere along the way, some humans have decided for themselves that it's perfectly acceptable to take a life. Or many.

It is not.

It's not ok to hurt or kill another person. It's just not. I don't know where the breakdown is,  but we must rise up and agree that killing is wrong.  We must encourage and teach each other,  old or young, that killing another person is wrong.  Forget about blaming inanimate objects and start joining together teaching that we can be nice. We CAN not kill. Because it's not ok.

Love or hate?

Gosh, I wish he'd left it alone.  You know, the kneeling thing.  It re-split any semblance of blend and sent the elements running to their corners like a science experiment.  It has been implied by some that I should not even speak on the subject because of my pigmentation.  I also realize that if I plead for common sense to prevail, others will interpret that as me shutting down their cause with "hate".

I simply try to never hate any other person.  My foundation on interacting with people is based on "love one another".  There may be other humans that I dislike, but the reason for the dislike is something they have said or done to me personally.  It has absolutely nothing to do with their pigmentation.  I recognize that there is a wide division in opportunities in today's society.  I personally come in contact with little ones each day that are hungry, not clean, and suffer many other challenges - through no fault of their own.  What can be done to re-direct that path they're on?  I give them chances - teaching them music skills, giving them "parts" in programs, encouraging them about schoolwork, behavior, interpersonal relationships.  I also tell them that I love them.  Every chance I get.  I don't know how much difference those things make, but I know that I am using my position in life to try and make a difference.

I started to write about the "kneel-ers", who have chosen a quiet way to protest the inequalities that end in violence.  Their quiet way reverberated like a sonic boom.  It took on the look of deriding our country and our freedoms, due to the method they used.  Their meaning has been lost to some, which makes them (figuratively) scream louder and louder.  I started to write about "why don't they volunteer in our community or schools and try to make a difference?".  First though, I googled the number one kneel-er.  You know his name.  He has some free time on his hands right now.  I found that he has pledged to donate one million dollars to organizations that help the downtrodden, the underprivileged; I also found out that he has already made good on $800,000 of that promise.  I hadn't heard about any of that in the media.  I only heard this progression: guy kneels protesting a problem - other side says he hates our country - news media highlights all who kneel and all who dismiss them as unpatriotic - leader gets involved - volume of arguments and yes, hate crescendos at an alarming level.  I think that since the main one knelt, he has put his money where his knees are and is trying to improve things.  But everyone else?  I don't know.  I don't have time to google everyone.

There are opportunities out there.  There is a division in our society that might - nobody knows for sure - but just might be changed or re-directed by volunteer work. It doesn't have to cost you a million dollars. Volunteer at a school as a mentor. Get involved with Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America.  Work with Habitat for Humanity.  Walk away from figurative yelling on social media and do something literal.  Do something that helps, stop trying to place blame, don't ascribe hate to anybody based on how they look, get out there and underscore your opinion with action.  Wouldn't it be great if we could divert the arguing and make a difference?

Waking up those teens!

I just read another one of those posts: "If you don't want to ruin your teenager, stop doing these things immediately!".  Well, I didn't read it, I glanced at it.  The first item it mentioned was waking them up in the morning.  I just........don't agree with that!

The morning wake-up was a tradition when I was growing up.  All the way until I left for college, my dad had the kid wake-up duty.  He performed it with humor, style, information and (when I look back) flat-out love.  There were three kid bedrooms along a straight hallway.  He would march down the hallway, singing - out of tune -  "Happy Monday (or whatever day) Morning!"  and proclaim the news of the day.  It could be the result of a basketball match between two rival schools, what the dog had already done that morning, or what exciting event awaited our day or night ahead.  Yes, there were days when it was just "Hurry up, get up", but there were also some other days when a bugle was being blown.  In the hallway.  Outside our bedrooms. A bugle. I owned an alarm clock, and used it as well, but I counted on Dad being there.  When I left for college, I missed it.  I didn't miss class, I didn't not get out of bed because my parent wasn't there.  I knew that I was now on my own and had to get up when the alarm went off!

I carried on the tradition and tried to wake up my kids every day.  I wasn't perfect, but I know they can hear my voice saying "Good morning, sunshine!" even now if they try. Parents of teens - they might even talk to you like a human when they first wake up!  Oh, they learned to do laundry, cook, wash dishes, shop, budget money and time.......but waking up?  My opinion is....do that as long as you can.  When it's gone, it's gone.

Joy is a Fuel

Have you ever experienced plain ol' joy?  Just feeling so happy that you just throw your head back and laugh?  There are many occasions in life that can cause joy; the ones dealing with love and family are the most common.  Falling in love, expecting a baby, being proud of your child, spouse, parent.......the joy that comes within relationships is beautiful, and buoys us through life's hard times. Sometimes, though, I find an unexpected joy in art.  Seeing something amazing or beautiful first takes my breath away, then makes me laugh.  I think that's one of the reasons I teach music.

I experienced - heard and watched plain ol' joy last night.  Tommy James (of Tommy James and the Shondells) left the stage during "Mony, Mony" just to shake hands, give hugs, pose for selfies, greet a lady in a wheelchair - for about fifteen minutes while the band just vamped.  It was so joyful because he was so unassuming. First he jammed that awesome song, then just walked out like he wanted to hug everyone in the place.  Who does that these days?  We didn't run up for hugs, but just laughed and watched it all happen.  Happiness.  For those minutes, you can forget bills, aches and pains, worries, all the heartbreak that's happening in this world - and feel some joy.

I felt amazement and joy when the stage version of The Lion King began.  Giraffes, monkeys, hyenas, hippos - all right before my eyes.  Amazing.  I felt a numbness that approached awe when I stood before El Greco's "A View Of Toledo".  Having loved the painting through pictures in books for so many years, the real item struck me speechless.

I don't condone running away from our troubles. I especially don't condone not finding a niche where you can try to ease a small part of the world's heartache. ("Brighten the Corner Where You Are" - but that's another story.)  I highly condone, however, finding the joy in music, art, writing, drama - whichever form of creativity awes you - and letting that fuel you for turning back to bills, sickness and the difficult sadness in the world with renewed ambition to help.  Let the arts feed you.

Anyone Have Any Pull With Kroger? Anyone?

Robbie and I have a confession to make.  We're in a really bad relationship.......it's a true "love-hate" relationship with Kroger. That's right, a grocery store.  When we met, we both lived in cities that had Kroger grocery stores.  Not only that, but there was a Kroger close to each of our respective houses. Kroger is a wonderland of a grocery store and we absolutely love it.  They have a huge, always-fresh produce section, a bakery with everything you could imagine, sushi wrapped right in front of you, a deli that spans the gamut of delights, Kroger-brand items at substantial savings (yet equal or better quality), the gas savings on the Kroger card; all right, I'm going on and on, but you get the picture.

In August 2015, we moved to Biloxi, Mississippi.  We were very excited to be moving to "the Coast", and truly are loving it.  Except for one thing:  there is no Kroger.  We knew that, going in, but we hadn't had the true chance to shop at the available places week after week.  There is Rouse's, out of New Orleans, a nice store that usually has some fresh shrimp and other seafood.  It's one of our "standbys", as is the Wal-Mart Neighborhood Market, which has the freshest produce.  There are also a couple of Winn-Dixies; I go there if I want to feel sad.

Kroger pulled out of the Mississippi Coast around 1995.  I never really found out why, I just know that our Kroger on Highway 49 in Orange Grove became an Albertsons - and it was a fairly painless change at first.  I moved away from the Coast in 1996, back in 2001 and never saw another Kroger.  Never saw one, that is, until moving to Houston in 2006.  Houston suburbs are the grocery store mecca. Kroger Selects, Randalls, and H.E.B. all trying to outdo one another.  You can get really spoiled, grocery-wise, in Houston.  When I met Robbie, we agreed that Kroger was our favorite.  He had one only a couple miles from his house in Byram, outside Jackson, Mississippi.  That Kroger in Byram is the one that made us realize what we were missing once we moved to Biloxi.

We didn't sell the house in Byram until a year after we bought the house in Biloxi.  There were many, many trips the three hours north, to visit family and prepare the house to be on the market.  In between those trips, we were living - and grocery shopping in Gulfport/Biloxi.  That experience cemented the contrast between what we have on the Coast and what are lacking.

Every time we walked into Kroger in Byram, we would feel an elation in just looking around that lasted about thirty seconds.  The elation would immediately turn to sighs of sadness.  All of the sudden we were two wide-eyed kids in the Disneyworld of grocery stores, looking around, knowing that we could only visit briefly, never stay.

I don't know why Kroger doesn't want to invest in any properties on the Mississippi Coast.  Or - maybe I do, that other K-name in 2005 left too many scars for some to ever take a chance again.   We just wish Kroger were braver, kinder, were able to tough it out and give us our amazing grocery experience.  If any of you out there have any pull with the Kroger company, put in a good word for the Coast. We deserve it.