Fifth Grade Thunderdome

Once a year, the weather starts to warm up, Easter decorations hit the stores, weekend festivals abound and the fifth graders that I teach are put through a grueling experience.  No, not testing, not a spring dance, not a sports competition: the grueling experience is called "Mass Choir".

How can singing be so difficult?  Children singing; just the words evoke sweetness and light, love, hope for the future, and everything that is right with the world. Most of the time, that is true for me.  I love my school and I love the darlings that I teach. We sing the cutest, sweetest songs and have so much fun.  Mass Choir, though, looms over me like a giant monster most of the school year.  Here's the background, as I am aware of it.  The superintendent declared that since the seven elementary schools feed into only two middle schools and one high school that the fifth graders should celebrate the end of the time in elementary and their coming together "as one" by performing an hour-long concert for their parents.  Every fifth grader in the district.  Whether they want to or not, whether they enjoy singing or not.

Have you ever experienced eleven-year-olds (or twelve or thirteen....) in the springtime?  I am reminded of the young creatures that spring around the barnyard, all mischief, joy and self-awakening.  I'm not saying they are badly behaved, I'm saying that by nature they are reaching for independence and acceptance among their peers.  The way in which they do that reflects whether they already possessed good behavior or not.  As planners of Mass Choir, the respective music teachers from each school do our best to find engaging and contemporary songs that these young adults will enjoy.  We also attempt to keep their "antsy" young selves busy by adding "moves" (less than choreography, more than finger-snapping) to all the songs.  From August to January, we choose songs and create moves.  We teach songs, send home lyrics and CDs, have competitions, do any positive behavior encouragement that we can to prepare the students for the big night.  We also take care of the logistics of the evening, but that's another complete story!

Imagine the last week of rehearsal. There are sixty students, in my case, one hundred at some schools, standing on risers together knowing that they're supposed to sing and move.  The superintendent never sees this part of the process.  It is the reason I came up with the term "grueling".  If not for a super-supportive specials team, fifth grade teachers and administration, it would not happen!  By nature, it is a Thunderdome of sorts - who can make whom laugh, who talks about someone else's mama, who can pass gas at just the right time - you get the picture. Somehow, some way, we manage to get them to sing and move enough to look like they know what they're doing. The only one that doesn't get the picture is the one that ordained it and will show up next week and talk about how wonderful that they can all sing together with energy and smiles and grow up to be the pride of the district.

Then the music teachers turn and smile and wave.  Within the next week we evaluate the year's show and start discussing next year's engaging music.  They all enter, they all come out, but the music teachers stay for another Thunderdome, year after year. 

Adam Levine is pretty - but just let me look at the sky occasionally 9/21/13

*to Ramona, Christina, Tricia, Meiling and mostly Cathi - thanks for the fun!!

It was a beautiful Thursday night for an outdoor concert.  The rain had cleared and brought the temperature down!  The crowd was immense.  I think every woman and half the men in Houston came out to breathe the same air as Adam Levine.  Maroon 5 is a good band.  But their front man - he sells more than music. Those magazine covers, shirtless.  The always-stylish hair, tattoos, tight clothes. He plays the part of "rock god" to the hilt.  Oh yeah, and he can sing.

I got invited by a very sweet friend to go along with a few other ladies.  I love concerts, and just by inviting me, she gave me a "thing" to look forward to that could take the place of the other wanderings my mind does these days.  Kelly Clarkson and Maroon 5!  Big talent!  Fun friends!  Laughing!  Oh yeah - I laugh a lot.  Sad people can laugh, too.  Things don't stop being funny just because you're sad about something. Sometimes I lead with laughter.  Other times, I simply smile because no laughter is inside me.  I try to do what looks "normal", even though I'm not normal....yet. 

Kelly Clarkson sings a lot of songs about losing boyfriends. I never realized how songs about losing a boyfriend could have so many lyrics that closely mirrored losing a spouse.  Never mind "What Doesn't Kill You".... I was still getting my dinner (nachos, yum.....we bluffed our way into the VIP line so we didn't have to wait as long), so that one didn't really reach me.  But then there was "Because of You", and  "My Life Would Suck Without You".  (Of course, my mind changed the second title to "My Life Does Suck Without You.") I sat, listened, and just looked up at the sky when the waves of sadness came.  The clouds were beautiful.  The moon was to our left.  Only two or three stars were visible, sometimes even those ducking behind the clouds.  I looked for a bit, then it would pass.  Silly songs, silly lyrics, silly middle-aged lady taking them to heart.

After Kelly, the headliners were on stage.  I had personally forgotten how many hits they've had over the years - songs that passed through my eardrums into my brain during the time that daughters ruled the car radio. (In my humble opinion, there is still good music being written and recorded today.  You just need to look a little harder for it.  The fun part about a blog is that it can be my soapbox if I want, it's my blog!)  So, back to Adam Levine. I got the general impression that about 80% of the women in the audience would have left the place with him - as well as about 10% of the men.  Even all the happily married women would have at least wanted to.....introduce the husband? Have coffee?  Show him pics of the kids?  He's very magnetic, and a huge cross-section of America wants to adopt him, for one reason or another. The other percentage of the audience were huge fans of the music - like the short, chubby dancing man in front of us.  I appreciate and understand the craze about Mr. Levine.....but I felt as if everyone was in a museum with me, going crazy over the impressionists.  While I thought they were pretty, I wanted to wander down the hall and look at the Old Masters. I texted my girls at college: "Good concert. Adam Levine is pretty".  (Adam, if you read this, Maddy says she's single.) 

I am actually writing about this to work through why I feel that I would rather meet Jagger than "Moves Like Jagger".   Is it my age?  I'm sure that's a big part.  But most of all,  I just know that I'm still having to look at the sky way too often. I probably don't want to meet Jagger, either.  I try to hide it still.   On any day, if I seem together and happy and secure - I've probably gotten more bad news.  Anymore when bad news comes my way, I seem to deflect it as if I'm wearing some sort of armor. 

Is the fact that I don't react immediately, sadly, uncontrollably, falling-apart-to-broken due to strength?  No.  I've heard that one a lot - "You are so strong."  Meant as a compliment, I hope, to tell me that you admire the fact that I'm not in a fetal position on the floor, screaming.  But it's not strength that keeps me going. There's nothing strong about sighing while I get ready for work, because the house is so empty.  There's nothing strong about hiding behind my smart board to wipe away tears because my choir just broke into "Keep Your Head Up".   There's nothing strong about going to an awesome concert with friends and laughing a lot about family, work and life.  That's just living.  Others may or may not notice when I look at the sky - I don't do it to be noticed, so it's ok if you don't.  I just know that it's a measure of how often I have to re-gather myself to continue being normal.  So I listen to Kelly Clarkson's amazing voice, appreciate her songs and the honest, funny way she talks to the audience, and I just stop and look at the sky when I have to.  And I watch and listen to Adam Levine and Maroon 5, and look at the sky when I have to.  After a few thoughts, a few breaths, I look back at the stage, or if I really need to cheer up, the short chubby dancing man.  It was a good night, friends.  Thank you.