The cat threw up already. It's only Wednesday, day BEFORE Thanksgiving, and there's some purging going on around here. Poor Roxy. She's not really purging, you all know cats don't do that, right? But she is suffering a common holiday malady: invasion of space and routine.
I love the holidays. I love time off work, I love seeing family and friends. I'm especially grateful to not only have my precious girls home from college, but nephew Zach visiting as well. We are knitting together a united front against the sadness of missing Scott. We are staying busy, either running around or binge TV-watching. And of course, cooking and eating. So far, so good. And, before you read any further...he is the perfect guest, he's family, I do my thing and don't stress. All reflections in this blog came to me as - yes - Roxy threw up.
Along with the college girls comes Isis, the college kitty. She's about six months old and cute as can be. She's gotten much bigger since leaving here in August. I no longer have to block the spindles on the upstairs overlook for fear that she will wiggle through and fall to the first floor, as she did in July. She has her own opinion about where she wants to go and which other animals she likes. Basically, it's nobody.
Now to be fair, the other animals either hate her or want to play too rough. (55-lb dog vs. six-month-old kitten, you know?) So everybody is walking around all stressed out. Except maybe Gordon, the big dog, he only wants to play! I wish it were easier and faster to say to animals: "You're in this together, now let's be nice to each other!" It occurred to me, just after Roxy lost her breakfast this morning, that the last time she did that was when Isis was here. My cat gets stressed and throws up! I know, gross.
But how different is that from any of us that are hosting or visiting over the holiday, and have our routine interrupted? Do we embrace it or does it just make us a little sick or even ruin our day? I personally embrace change of routine on my terms. For example - yes, I will have kolaches for breakfast one morning, but it's back to the cereal for me after that! I love people being around, having fun, especially if they are the kind of people that I can say "Do your thing, I'm going in here for a while!"
I hope that all my friends and any other readers and find a way to enjoy and celebrate the disruption of routine that comes with holidays on their own terms. My animal friends can't talk with each other and discover that they really don't have to stress. Roxy is growling at Isis as I type this! We can, however, be truthful about our feelings in a considerate way, and make non-routine days work nicely! Whoever you spend your holiday with, you and those people are a united front against the sadness, heartbreak and grief in the world. Laugh together, cry together, gorge on that meal together......Together. And no throwing up. (at least, not from stress!) Happy Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for all of you.
Showing posts with label cereal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cereal. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Questions abound 9/27/13
I have a lot of questions. Some of them deal with life and death. Some of them deal with family and friends. Some of them deal with work. None of them are truly answer-able. They are mostly just ponder-able. Is it worth the time to ponder them? I don't know. That's one of the questions.
1. Why us?
Why my precious girls? Not so much me, but us. All four of us were awesome. The three of us are still awesome, but way too aware that one-fourth of us is missing. That flavors and colors everything we think and do, forever. And then I must ask: Why my friend Maria and her two precious girls? Is this a new sociological trend? If so, may I be allowed to say: it sucks. (Sorry, Mom.) So, if there ever could be a reason (remember, simply a ponder question...), what would it be?
2. Why can't I get credit for all the years I've taught, even though they were elsewhere?
Don't laugh, this bothers me just about every day. The school district I work for honors everybody for the number of years they're taught in the district. So this year, when everybody is getting their award pins, I'll be sitting there, in my twenty-fifth year of teaching, watching everyone else get awards because they never moved around. I've only taught in the district for seven years now. When I do get my "ten-year" award, it will actually be my twenty-eighth year teaching. Thank goodness all those years in all those other places count on my pay scale. I think I'll miss that day this year.
3. Why do some people get all the bad luck? or "Whydobadthingshappentogoodpeople?"
I'm really not referring to myself here, although I feel as if I have joined that crowd lately. Why do some people not only end up with a bad situation, but no support? Why do cars break down on top of an air-conditioning repair? Why can lies be believed? Why does sadness exist?
4. Why do those inner bags of cereal sometimes rip instead of opening neatly?
I have a LOT of experience opening those bags. I know that I do not like them to rip. I am not a fan of wasting single grain (or krispie!) of cereal. A rip in the bag means that some of the cereal will pour down into the box. Just this week, I was very carefully opening the new box of Grape-Nuts (another question altogether....) when RIP!!! It just makes me angry. I will say that I have better luck with Kellogg's bags than Post's. I will also ask: why, oh why, aren't those inner bags re-sealable? You know, a zip-lock top or something? Too much to ask?
5. Why am I plagued with the idea that anything I do is not good enough?
We've all been there, right? I just have to look around to know that I did some things great. But just knowing that my husband is gone makes me feel like I goofed up big time, somewhere, somehow. I now have to make all the big decisions myself, and instead of being confident because of past experience, I feel as if I will make a really big mistake. Nobody questions my decisions, everyone tells me I'm smart, I'm strong....and that only gives me more doubt. I'm kind of afraid I'll get "too big for my britches" and do something that's waaay weird and uncalled for. Ok, maybe not, because when you describe me in one word (you know that game?) the one word is CAUTIOUS. And the worst insult I could give would be to say that a decision or action was FOOLISH. Heaven forbid.
6. Why is nothing ever good enough at work anymore?
This is an offshoot of #5, except that I am kind of making a statement that the district seems to be trying to prove itself by saying that they are constantly changing and upgrading all teaching methods. In the process of doing so, a lot of teachers are being told that what they are doing isn't good enough, doesn't follow this list or that guideline or new specification #5,038. Yes, I personally have experienced a bit of this.....and when I am told that something isn't good enough, I am not happy. However, it's been only a couple of actual times for me. I'm pretty sure that's very lucky, actually. It's tricky ground, being in my emotional state, and coming up against the grips of the district.
7. Why does some music give me mixed messages?
"Carry on, my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done." Oh good, I need to hop out of bed and get this day started!! "Lay your weary head to rest, don'tcha cry no more..." Nevermind. "Don't worry, be happy." My friend wants to punch Mr. McFerrin in the face for ever recording such nonsense. I agree. Mr. McFerrin is immensely talented (check out his version of The Beatles' "Blackbird") but that song has probably done more psychological damage than the movie "Psycho". And Peter Frampton has been asking me to show him the way for thirty years now, but he won't show up. I know the way, Peter!!! It's not good enough, but it'll get you there!
To sum up my ponderings:
1. Why us (and them)?
2. Why is the district unfair and nothing can be done about it?
3. Why is life life?
4. Why don't cereal companies care to improve? Have we been married too long?
5. If I am so confident (I am...) then why am I not confident?
6. Why do certain entities try to fix what's not broken?
7. Why do I still feel emotionally attached to song lyrics even though I'm not a teenager?
8. Why are my dogs and cats so cute? ( I know, I didn't write about that, but they are napping beside me right now....)
Ponder away, friends, ponder away.
1. Why us?
Why my precious girls? Not so much me, but us. All four of us were awesome. The three of us are still awesome, but way too aware that one-fourth of us is missing. That flavors and colors everything we think and do, forever. And then I must ask: Why my friend Maria and her two precious girls? Is this a new sociological trend? If so, may I be allowed to say: it sucks. (Sorry, Mom.) So, if there ever could be a reason (remember, simply a ponder question...), what would it be?
2. Why can't I get credit for all the years I've taught, even though they were elsewhere?
Don't laugh, this bothers me just about every day. The school district I work for honors everybody for the number of years they're taught in the district. So this year, when everybody is getting their award pins, I'll be sitting there, in my twenty-fifth year of teaching, watching everyone else get awards because they never moved around. I've only taught in the district for seven years now. When I do get my "ten-year" award, it will actually be my twenty-eighth year teaching. Thank goodness all those years in all those other places count on my pay scale. I think I'll miss that day this year.
3. Why do some people get all the bad luck? or "Whydobadthingshappentogoodpeople?"
I'm really not referring to myself here, although I feel as if I have joined that crowd lately. Why do some people not only end up with a bad situation, but no support? Why do cars break down on top of an air-conditioning repair? Why can lies be believed? Why does sadness exist?
4. Why do those inner bags of cereal sometimes rip instead of opening neatly?
I have a LOT of experience opening those bags. I know that I do not like them to rip. I am not a fan of wasting single grain (or krispie!) of cereal. A rip in the bag means that some of the cereal will pour down into the box. Just this week, I was very carefully opening the new box of Grape-Nuts (another question altogether....) when RIP!!! It just makes me angry. I will say that I have better luck with Kellogg's bags than Post's. I will also ask: why, oh why, aren't those inner bags re-sealable? You know, a zip-lock top or something? Too much to ask?
5. Why am I plagued with the idea that anything I do is not good enough?
We've all been there, right? I just have to look around to know that I did some things great. But just knowing that my husband is gone makes me feel like I goofed up big time, somewhere, somehow. I now have to make all the big decisions myself, and instead of being confident because of past experience, I feel as if I will make a really big mistake. Nobody questions my decisions, everyone tells me I'm smart, I'm strong....and that only gives me more doubt. I'm kind of afraid I'll get "too big for my britches" and do something that's waaay weird and uncalled for. Ok, maybe not, because when you describe me in one word (you know that game?) the one word is CAUTIOUS. And the worst insult I could give would be to say that a decision or action was FOOLISH. Heaven forbid.
6. Why is nothing ever good enough at work anymore?
This is an offshoot of #5, except that I am kind of making a statement that the district seems to be trying to prove itself by saying that they are constantly changing and upgrading all teaching methods. In the process of doing so, a lot of teachers are being told that what they are doing isn't good enough, doesn't follow this list or that guideline or new specification #5,038. Yes, I personally have experienced a bit of this.....and when I am told that something isn't good enough, I am not happy. However, it's been only a couple of actual times for me. I'm pretty sure that's very lucky, actually. It's tricky ground, being in my emotional state, and coming up against the grips of the district.
7. Why does some music give me mixed messages?
"Carry on, my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done." Oh good, I need to hop out of bed and get this day started!! "Lay your weary head to rest, don'tcha cry no more..." Nevermind. "Don't worry, be happy." My friend wants to punch Mr. McFerrin in the face for ever recording such nonsense. I agree. Mr. McFerrin is immensely talented (check out his version of The Beatles' "Blackbird") but that song has probably done more psychological damage than the movie "Psycho". And Peter Frampton has been asking me to show him the way for thirty years now, but he won't show up. I know the way, Peter!!! It's not good enough, but it'll get you there!
To sum up my ponderings:
1. Why us (and them)?
2. Why is the district unfair and nothing can be done about it?
3. Why is life life?
4. Why don't cereal companies care to improve? Have we been married too long?
5. If I am so confident (I am...) then why am I not confident?
6. Why do certain entities try to fix what's not broken?
7. Why do I still feel emotionally attached to song lyrics even though I'm not a teenager?
8. Why are my dogs and cats so cute? ( I know, I didn't write about that, but they are napping beside me right now....)
Ponder away, friends, ponder away.
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