Thirty-three years ago tonight, I went on a date with a guy on my boyfriend's hall, because my boyfriend was busy. My boyfriend said, "Whatever you do, just don't kiss him goodnight.". There's nothing like a challenge, is there? There was definitely a goodnight kiss; we owned up to it and I said goodbye to the boyfriend -who was a really great guy in his own right, it just didn't work out that way! The new guy's name was Scott, and we saw each other every night for a month, until Valentine's day. We were pretty head over heels. January 14, 1981. We even scheduled our wedding on July 14, 1984, to reflect that date.
I didn't know he wouldn't live to see only thirty-three years from that kiss. Today, January 14, 2014, I have had a dead car towed from my garage, called two different bank accounts to see what paperwork they actually require to change names/ close accounts, called the college savings plan to find out the same info, tried to call the Norway tax office to get details on paying the Norwegian tax, and printed out a ream of papers to change the IRA to my name. He's been gone eight months and I just got the affidavit from the court to be able to do these things. (Well, the car didn't require court papers, that's just my luck.)
I wish I had clever or cute words to tell you that life sometimes hurts like hell. My heart feels withered even though laughter and smiles still occupy my face. When I do ordinary things, it takes twice the effort, because I really don't care as much anymore. That goodnight kiss thirty-three years ago tonight was wrong, it was cheating; and I hope I apologized and moved on correctly.....but it was also the most special kiss of my life.
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